Smileeee

2010-05-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

And this time i swear the feeling is so strong

Life's pretty okay now.I just hope for the best.
I had a bad cram today. =[
You know whatever happens in our life we'll hold on and stay strong,
Kerana ALLAH tidak akan memberi dugaan yang hambanya tidak mampu lalui.

I dont know why but this feeling is so strong.wherever i go.
I've been holding on all this time and im never gonna let go.
Because your the one who makes a difference in my life and your the one who keeps me going.
I believe. =]

signing off:
SA

2010-05-15T03:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna end this friendship.i mean it.
im gonna sort things out..soon..because i cant find myself right now..i have other things happening in my life.
Soon okay.Don't worry, i'll stay strong..
Soon, everything is gonna be fine.i know that..
Enough of stupid fucking tears.seriously..

I aint perfect.Nobody is perfect.people make mistakes, i make mistakes always..
I'll try to sort things out..i will soon..

say what you wanna say, hate me all you want..what i know i still want our friendship so whatever fuck happens, i'll try to sort things out..

signing off:
SA

2010-05-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

MYE are over..can enjoy for awhile.okay first i admit i didnt really studied for this mye i dunno why..im just in the mood to have fun..hehs..
many things are happening around me..if i could help, i'll try my best..

but i'll try my very best to be there for you and listen to you. =] stay strong and do to bestie, i know i cant be there for you all the time and i cant promise i'll make you feel better whatever your heart tells you to and do whatever that makes you happy. =]

hmm..just now after geog paper went to sue's house with atiqah,wani and syikin.we watched kuch kuch hota hai..and yes sue broke down..haha..it was fun..tmr maybe west coast-ing.. =D such a wonderful story..yesh life doesnt always have happy endings and in our life, we have to got through alot of obstacles to finaly reach our happiness.. =]

i guess till here thens..will update soon aye, insyallah.

signing off:
SA

2010-04-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHAT?
I woke up in the morning and alamak darah up sia..My stepmum walao i tell you keep screaming like mad people mcm siaoooo..grr dunno people sleeping or what issit? basket..Then dad scold me and lecture someemore..wth sia i feel like punching her fcuking face can? =D
Pfft..cannot stay at hm liao lah..go out la i want go out..how to study sia like this at hm.make me go mad only..pfftt....

ahh i feel like screaming..im soooooo fucked uppppp...

bodoh lahh...

grr...k chill sa chill..next year also can mad mad like this okay? =D
hahaha im trying to enjoy life like seriously..
fuck all these things down the drain mannnn...enjoy lifeeeeeeeeee peopleee =DD

signing off:
SA

2010-04-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

True eh? Didnt go school today..Wasnt feeling quite well..
Guess what i did the whole day today at home? SLEEP..yea sleep..
Wth..hehs..sleep, pray, read storybook, sleep, hmwks, eat.. -___- woah what a day..
ohh gosh im worried for bestfren im so sad..just stay strong okay?
and oh gosh i havent study physics..later can =]

The pain on my back came again and it hurts i tell you..i have to put loads of tiger balm till damn hot then i can relax but then few mins later the pain will come again.. -___-
I had weird dreams, scary ones..None of it was nice..why??

signing off:
SA

2010-04-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to chal who keep updating me with quotes..Weekends was errr okay? hehs.. met aunt today then go umah nenek then uncle send me home..havent revise maths yet.. =/ so lazy seh..lucky i've oned all the uniform and cuci socks just now mrng..=]

uhh im so tired but dont feel like sleeping..hehs..lalalal im so bored... expect mum to call today but she didnt..nehminds..

hmmm im rnning out of moneyy ..noooo... -___-
Dad isnt quite feeling well this few days..haish..get well soon daddy..

signing off:
SA

2010-04-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you need to get out into the world
and experience things, to finally realise that
you actually belong home..

School was ummm okay? hehs..i got nothing much to talk about actually.. Was so pissed in the mrng when dad vent his anger for my younger bro on me..pfft..STOP bringing up the past when you wanna scold us..the past is the past.I dont like it okay it just uhh whatever..

I wanna have fun..FUNFUNFUN..YAyyyy aunt coming back this fridayyy =DD

signing off:
SA

2010-04-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

Life is so ironic to understand fully,
it takes sadness to know what is happiness.
noise to distinguish silent and a broken heart
to find true love.

Well games day yesterday was awesomeee..although get hit on my cheekbone by the ball, get stepped on the foot, pushed and kicked its was a fun day.. =D

My knee now is swollen =/.. hehs..

Went to vivo with fina and wani today =DD had loads of fun..thanks for the day girls.. <3 after that went to nenek house..nenek wants me to stay but tmr i got mendaki so i told nenek tmr i'll come after mendaki..sorry nenek.. =/

Let's live it up people.. =] Life is too short to live with regrets..learn from yr mistakes.. =D

signing off:
SA

2010-03-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

Weee blueeee and i miss chachaa.. =[

I've been having mood swings this week..Well this week totally sucked..I'm sorry if i've given you people attitude problem.i just cant control my anger.. =/

Maybe im just tired? Or im stressed? Or im thinking too much? urgh i dont know.. who cares.. -__- I got damn big ulcer at the back of my left side mouth.. hehs..

tomorrow got mendaki...ohh i just got home from the airport..sent aunt off as she's flying off to brisbane..she asked me along but i refuse as i knoew i'll miss out alot in school if i follow her..so yeah fall asleep in the car otw to the airport and when i reach i become blur sotong..my aunt gave me 12 bucks to buy food at burger king but i thought i'd seen a 20 bucks in my hands.. -___-

Then when entering the burger king had deja vuu..scary..hahha..

I'm so sad and pissed..Wth siol.mum, seriously, i dont get you.you just heck care dont care about me animore..since when you prevent me from going yr house? sejak zaman bila siol? i dont understand sia..I wanna pay you and abang a visit but you dont let me..WTF kan? sorry uh but seriously if its like this your making me freaking pissed..i dont like the way you treat me..i miss you dont you know that mum? watever eh you want me to play the heck care dont care game? well its on..

Freaking shit..pfft..basket uh sia..i think tmr after mendaki gonna go cut my hair and shop at popular but no one want to accompany me.. =[ sad bodohh..
Think sun or what going gym with azlinnn =DD

Am i too harsh or what? i've been using damn loads of vulgarities this week..wth.. not good not good..

To my two aunts: Have a fun and pleasant and safe journey aye? Takecare always =D Will see you in a weeks time..

Well i guess my aunt can become my mum..she love me like what like that and care for me..just now she hugged me and said "dik, jgn merayap2 aje tau, takecare.." and i was like =DD okayee no problems..hehs..

guess thats all..hope next week would be a better week..

I'll never gonna let you go.

signing off:
SA =]

2010-03-23T05:10:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUZAINAH AND SYARAFINA..LOVE YOU PEOPLE LOADS.. =DD

Well holidays arent like holidays at all i assure you..spend my stupid hols coming back to school to do make ups for cca..

I've been feeling lost lately..I just feel empty inside me like suddenly..i felt there's something missing in life..Sometimes its just good to let it all out you know..Well today i felt that im regaining back my emotions and feelings..as i think back on the past, i just miss the old times..i miss mum..i miss nenek and my aunt who use to shower me with love..i miss mum but im sure she never misses me..mum, sumtimes i just feel that you find me whenever you need someone to talk to and when your happy you ignored me..How i hope one day i could feel the real love of both my mum and dad..

And you know i'll never give up..i'll never ever give up cuz your the best thing that i hope could be in my life forever..I'll just hold on..

signing off:
SA

2010-03-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm recovering..yayyyy..only had flu..dad allowed me to skip mendaki just now cuz i wasnt feeling well..haha.. ;D then now im feeling better =D

Im going to nenek hse tmr maybe..then i got lessons on tues and weds and got make up lesson for band.. T.T nyehhhh..tmr maybe going gym with azlin and frens.. =]

im bored at hm..feel like going swimming near mum's place today but.......nvm..
ohh and kakak nicha syg is treating me buffet at sakae sushi on mon wooooo.. =D

signing off:
SA ;D

2010-03-11T03:14:00.000-08:00

I'm so freaking sick today..Was in a dazed all the way during lessons..Force myself to endure for th whole day and i skipped chem remedial cuz cannot tahan..I think yesterday i overtook the medicines..Took two capsules of pain killer, and one tablet of dunno what then i cannot tahan i just ate another annarex and when i woke up in the morning i felt numb..Then when in school fever and flu came.My whole body was so weak..My back still hurts and dad scolded me for being sick.. =[

Went home and slept after i took medicines and now i having fever and flu.dammit i didnt know the pain killer have side effects..stupid doctor sia never tell me anything..basket.. -.-"

I need to come to school during march holidays to make up for my cca attendance..basket ah seh..ler..i wanna watch dear john laa...tsktsk.. -.-
I got no mood...i just feel like lying on bed for the whole day and tmr i hope im already fine and can go to school cuz i need to hand in geog file and edusave forms and meet ms lee for the dates..grrr...

signing off:
SA

2010-03-10T04:50:00.000-08:00

Thanks amalina for accompanying me to the clinic just now. =D Cheked my back and the doc give me hell loads of medicines..and he gave me mc for tmr p.e...

Dammit the painkiller doesnt work..My back hurts like hell...urghhhhhhh...seven days i've put up with this pain..nvm..endure2..hehs..

Thanks to the coffee i drank every mrng, it woke me up in class and i dont fall asleep.. =D lpak at amalina hse just nw and went hm..

im really looking forward to the march holidays..i need a breakkkk..

signing off:
SA

2010-03-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

This is what i call life.No one is perfect.People make mistakes in their life.Forgive them whenever you can because they sometimes don't mean what they just did.We sometimes tend to get ahead of ourselves.Just try to uinderstand others bcause every single one of us is different in our own way.

I ain't mad, i don't hate you and i don't hate people.And i know one day everything would be okay... =]

Well today basically fall asleep in class a lot of times..hehs..Slept during com test and i thought that i had a nice dream when suddenly woke up and realise theres one min left to the end of the paper.Wanted to fall asleep and get back to my wonderful dream but failed..hehs..Went home and slept..

I don't wanna know anything animore.Well, i just wanna live my own life and im gonna try to enjoy every single day of mine..

Jac, dont forget to eat your medicine and rest well =D

signing off:
SA

HAPPY BRTHDAY NADIRAHHH =DDD

2010-03-03T04:35:00.000-08:00

Today was okaye..Glad my punishment is over.thanks people for asking whether im okay or not..in fact im really fine cuz i deserved to be punished..lol..

Well wad happen? So much for you sacrificing your time coming down to talk to us..I guess you got lots of free time uh thats why you got time to scold us wad..So what sia i the only girl among all those who also got O for their cca attendance? Wanna talk to us talk properly uh no need talk like that seh..You show attitude think we cannot meh? basket..wapiang uh..Call up my dad uh what does cca have to do with school man? just because never go cca want to suspend us..kpala butos kau lah sia..

Lucky my dad side me sia..Like wtf..Like seriously now the teachers want to scare us by threatening all these things sia..think we scared or wad..gy mams sua kay?

Hmmm..well today was good cuz i manage to fall asleep when sitting infront of the parade square..thn the whole day was soo tiring.. -.- and sleepy..tmr got p.e wohoooo..lol..

signing off:
SA =]

2010-03-02T04:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYY LOVEEEEEEE.. =DD

Though theres loads of times i fought with you because we rarely see each other and we don't click, i still love you and miss you kay mama? ;D

semoga panjang umur dan sihat sentiasa =DD

Hmmm went for band just now..Had fun time singing like choir with fana..lol.. she can join choir alr seh..

Went hm after that.this sat celebrating mum's birthday..i fall asleep a few times just nw..was sooo damn sleepy uh..im so lazy to do maths.. -.-

I cant control my anger these few days, though sumtimes i fought damn hard to make my anger disappear or fade atleast..

Just shut up if you don't know how i feel.Stop talking shit to people.I'm not the same old girl who broods over fucking stupid things aye..Im stronger now an i'll stand up when i fall down..Go on and do yr frucks own stuffs cuz i dont give a damn. If you wanna treat me this way, well im gonna do the same to you.We'll see how far you can go.

signing off:
SA =D

2010-02-26T06:26:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAL..
Yea its his birthday today..may all your wishes come true and study hard.. =D hope you like the present..

just went hm from queensway..damn tired..x country was awesomeee.. =D i wanna go swimming.. =/ grr tmr got flag day -.- so lazy to goo seh..i wanna sleep tmr wont be coming for mendaki tmr..again last week never go this week also nevr go.. -.-

im tired..dunno wad to dooooo..hope i'll have fun tmr..

JADILAH SEORANG WANITA SEPERTI BEKAS DLM KACA
YANG SUKAR DISENTUH,
HANYA ORANG YG MAMPU SAHAJA YG BOLEH
MEMILIKINYA..

signing off:
SA

[ohh and get well soon to our classmate: yi zhao ]

2010-02-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

There's always a little truth
behind every "just kidding",
a little curiousity
behind every "just wondering",
a little knowledge
behind every "i don't know",
and a little emotion
behind every "i don't care". ~ chal [well he's been sponsoring me all the quotes cuz i think im running out of quotes.. =D ]

Well i guess life's good..Even when it's not, tell yourself that it's gonna be a good day and it'll turn into a good day..believe in yourself and know that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses..

Hmm yesterday went for run with nehneh and mahmah..lol random names..Then went hm and do houseworks and went out again to meet nehneh..studied with her and her mum gave me angpao leh and oranges..the oranges are damn tempting i tell you..lol..

Well school today was okay..was quite tired..didnt really study chem and i guess the test was hard..passed geog and ch test..after school went hm with sue,malyna and nas..lol kita very kecoh seh..when suddenly it rained so heavily and thnx for nasrul taking out his umbrella cu i damn lazy to take out my umbrella -.- hehs.. reached hm all wet seh..Marie is wet and fana's book is wet too sorry..all my books are wet..
and my shoe is wet tooooo.. =/

hmm i guess thats all.. =]

ohh mummy's birthday and someone's b'day is coming..hmmm i still havent buy presents yet..thought of meeting abg ard this week to discuss..wanna make surprise for mummy..

ohh and im so proud of abg..he's satrted school liao..semangat kay bro =DD

signing off:
SA
SA

2010-02-19T04:00:00.000-08:00

Every drop of sweat in training,
Is one less drop of blood in battle..~ chal

I'm dammit bored i tell you..I'm not feeling well.Down with stupid flu and sorethroat..Well i sounded like a bee..hehs..My whole body is aching..

Well today was gerek seh especially after school..went to play frisbee with nadirah,jovina,asyikin,jerome.h,wani,fina,malyna and atiqah.b..Had loads of fun though im sick..Reach home and slept..i wanna shower late at night ;D and i dun wanna go mendaki tmr.. =]

I need suggestions ppl..Need to study chem and catch up on maths and physics..

I feel like running and doing stupid stuffs..I dont know whats wrong with me..haha.. k i've gone mad..and ohhh i totally forget about my dear syg blue water bottle and left it in class..after i woke up then i rmb i didnt bring it hm..nvm mon hopefully its there if not i'll cryy cuz mummy bought it for me cuz i wanted it real bad..

I just argue with younger bro..perangai mcm toot sia..lol..perangai pe org nga sakit2uat hal..i scream at his face sia just now..holding knife cutting cili padi lagy..im sooo pissed of and went to add more cili padi to my maggi..lol..its nice btw ngok uh sape yg masak.. ;D lol..k stop it..

Ketammm i need your helppp...lol..i guess i'll be busy this weekend..

Dont mind me if i suddenly blow up..must understand due to my always occuring 'pms' lol..

Hey jalan berkepak dengan awek romantis, biasalah budak baru nak naik jadik artis..

i reall want want to goo swimming..malyna asked me along tmr mrng but i cantt cuz i wanna sleep to show that im sick so that i dont have to go mendaki..get that? ;]

signing off:
SA

2010-02-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

Don't wait until everything is just right,
because it will never be perfect.
There will always be challenges,
obstacles and less than perfect conditions.
So what. Get started now.
With each step you take,
you will grow stronger and stronger,
more and more skilled, more and more
self-confident and more and more successful. ~and yeah credits to chal again =]

Well had loads of fun at malyna's bbq at ecp yesterday.. =D love it so much man.. thanks for the day people. =DD cycled, screamed, raced, t or d, ate, lpak, all of this = hell load of fun and tired.. ;DD

Well reached hm ard 11.30++ at night and thanks to sue and her bf for sending me till my lift..Today, i rot at home. slept the whole day didnt do anything at all.. im serious.. -.- had breakfast at 2 p.m and lunch at 8 p.m cool kan? cool sluar dalam kau uh..

im freaking bored..dammit..i didnt keep my words cuz i told aunt and nenek i'll be coming over this cny holidays but see i didnt..i ditched aunt's text cuz i dont like the way she kongkong my hidup..please k i know what im doing.i know how to differentiate between the right and wrong..even if i wanna do something wrong, i wont go over the limits, trust me. i dont like people take control of my life.i do watever i wanna do, watever i think is right for me..and as long as my dad allow me to..

I'm finding someone's birthday present soon and i need ketam's tips..

Bring me out someone please..urgh..

We've got choices...

I ain't that type of girl whom you think i am..i'm not perfect and i don't like to show my feelings out..if you think im a kind of girl who gives it all away, well your totally wrong..

signing off:
SA

2010-02-11T06:11:00.000-08:00

Better to know and be disappointed,
than to never know and always wonder. .
It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.
When your heart is broken,you feel dead inside: nothing matters any more.
It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.Thats why we keep living, and find dead-ends at every corner we turn too. ~ credits to chal pelik lol..thanks for the quotes aye =D

gahhh test test test driving me nuts..im craving to go swimming..i wanna go swimming..someone bring me goo swimmmmm..LOL..k im out of my mind i know.. just nw aftr school waited for ruz with liwei then say syam ketam and chatted with him for awhile..ohh he's rapping on weds..wooo tkmo paitaw tau..lol..

Then sat with some ppl and mrs anba blahblah and went to wc plaza to accompany ruz buy her stuff...go home cook maggi..blablah..

and here i am now suppose to study math but loose my focus in the middle of my revision.. -.- so im continuing tmr..

oh yeah and i slept during geog just nw when ms shiva ask to watch the vid then guess what? i dream i ate ikan goreng sia..i was like wth siol..lol..ikan goreng.. fana dream she wanna eat double cheeseburger tapi tk kesampaian..lolol..

gahhh..i want kinder bueno.. =[ ketam you owe me one white kinder k?

signing off:
SA =]
~tataa

2010-02-08T05:46:00.000-08:00

Abang sayangg is back yow..weeeeeeeeee~

uh i've been busy with test and studies and loads of tings....i wanna screammmm...
my mind have gone crazy and you can ee me laughing out of a sudden that means that im thinking too much okay? so dont be surprise =D

i guess thats all..oh beloved kak nana and kak linda has fly off to brisbane to continue their studies..sent them yesterday and reach hm nearly 12 a.m damn tired.. haven study physics.. =/ gahgahaghh..

The rules that the principal made are freaking stupid..your just fucking biased and how would you want us to respect you if you dont even respect us in the first place uh..watever.. =D we're fine with it..

blahblah thats all.. peace yows..

signing off:
SA ;D

2010-02-04T05:10:00.000-08:00

I feel that i keep hurting people around me, keep making them feel pissed off.. I dont know why i keep screaming and shouting at people's faces..kau menopause pe sa? LOLOL im not okay klu si ehem maybe ler..lol..

I don't and can't understand guys? Why do you love to hurt Girl's feeling's so much? And dont think that girl's don't take all these small matters seriously.A girl is easily hurt and it hurts to see her hurting the people ard her..And stop pretending nothing happened on the next day when something did happen the day before...

TEST AND MORE TEST COING OUT..IT MAKES MY MIND GO GAHHHHHHH AND MY STOMACH GO BUTTERFLIES AND MY WHOLE BODY TO SHIVERRRR..GRRR HATE IT.. -.-

Bro kesayangan is back yow..woooooooooooooooooooooo... ;DD

signing off:
SA

2010-02-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

STOP IT. JUST STOP IT

Honestly, i'm fucking sick and tired of fighting with you.REALLY. Would you please understand me? STOP KILLING ME INSIDE STOP IT. STOP HURTING MY EMOTIONS. STOP DOING ALL THIS TO ME..fuck it..im really sick and tired of all this..please stop, just stop...it just hurts to see us like this nearly every night..just please don't hurt my feelings anymore......

signing off:
SA

2010-01-27T07:06:00.000-08:00

PRESENTINGGGG BIRTHDAYY GIRLLLL SAYANGGGKUUUU: FANAAAAAAAA <3

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY FANA..YR REALLY A GOOD FREN.APPRECIATE ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES I HAD WITH YOU AND YEAHHH HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE AND SMILEEEE ALWAYSSS..
LOVE YAAA LOADSS.. =DD <3

[SHE LOOK VERY PRETTY ON HER BIRTHDAY RIGHT? ;D ]

signing off:
SAAA =DD

2010-01-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

I just came back from the hospital.sent dad.Second time he go cuz he got herat problem.I'm so dammit worry over him..dad, i just want you to get well okay, whatever it takes.Love ya dad no matter what.. =[

I'm not feeling well..theres com test tmr and hmwks are not done, not prepared for school tmr..I have flu and sorethroat.pfft..

uh i've no mood to talk about anything.Sorry ppl if any of these days i've been giving attitude..I got loads of things in my mind...

And i wanna believe you, when you tell me that it'll be okay.yeah i try to believe you....Give me a little time, leave a alone a little while.i'm gonna do what i have to do..

Dad get well soon please..

signing off:
SA

2010-01-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

MAKE THIS FFELING LAST FOREVER..

Well school was as usual fun and tiring.Fell asleep while waiting for mdm chang to enter the class and i dream a very short dream and then sue woke me up when mdm chang enter the class..i dreamed that someone told me sumthing and a date but i forgot about what..lol..

Hmmm mum ask me to visit her this weekend..i will,unsyallah cuz i miss you so much mummy. =[

Ummm i dunno what else to say..My stm sometimes piss me off.

Just now mrng went to sch and had a very bad stomach pain and i felt like i could vomit anytime and biri is such a kind fren to give me gummies.. =D thanks biri..

I dunno why my throat nowadaes like very bitter..Whatever i ate taste different.. I'm so tired..My eyebags are getting bigger..lol..

I'm thinking about some stuffs..I hate having flashbacks about what happen last year..It's already nearly 12 am and tmr theres sch and i still havent go bobok yet.. i guess i'll fall asleep tmr during assembly..

Sometimes i feel that it's annoying how you trust someone soo much and you end up being betrayed..haha well thats so funny to show how stupid i am to fall for STMF..

Well i guess till here then..i've got date tmr with jac and co. =D mIss them loads you know.. =[

singing off:
SA =]

2010-01-16T02:57:00.000-08:00

I'm dead tired.
I'm annoyed by people who think for themselves rather than others and being someone they're not.

I'm deeply in love..Oh God..
I have sweet dreams plus nightmares yesterday night..
The fear in me that i can't get rid of..

If i could love you for my lifetime, i will..
im telling you one thing youre number one, i aint gonna let nothing get in the way..

Well just now went for mendaki and get to know these two girls from tanglin sec well they're fun people you know. =D Had test and i was so damn sleepy..Took the train home and fell asleep..

I've finish my house chores, i guess..LOL..hmm...I need to iron uniform and kemas bilik and study study study studyyyyyyyy.. -.-"

My mp3 is rosakkk cuz i cannot send songs from my com to my mp3..alahhhh.. =[

Hmmmmm....
It's just like a sweet dream..And i hope it last forever

I'm waiting for mum to call..Well i know the phone works both ways but i wanna see whether she'll take the initiaitve to call me..takkan always me me me..me maggi sua..lol...diamla fed up seh..pfft..

signing off:
SA ;D

2010-01-11T05:34:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIWEI SAYANGGGGGGG.. ;DDDDD

WELL I CHERISHED ALL THE MOMENTS I HAD WITH YOU..ALL YOUR CONCERN AND CARE FOR ME. ALL THOSE FUN TIMES I HAD WITH YOU..I WON'T EVER FORGET THAT...
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT ME,JAC,PEARLYN,JJ,SHI HUI AND HAZEL LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FRIENDS FOREVER..

GET WELL SOON HONEYH. ;D

well..just now after school went to liwei house to surprise her and gave her presents..lunch at her house and we helped her..jac can become an xtreme violent nanny [you should know why jac] and went home with jj and shi hui..

Reached home damn tired after solat fall asleep and i woke up after maghrib..cant believe i slept the whole maghrib..woke up so sucked up then my stepmum keep screaming from her room..walao fed up sial..feel like stapling her mouth siol.. wth.. sorry ppl i ignored your text cuz im so fed up..cooling down now.. trying my best to control my anger..

i feel so disappointed cuz i screamed at my dad for waking me up in the middle of my sleep just now..damn you sa..sungguh kurangs ehh..btol uh kau peh sluar dalam.. sial..lol..haish..my hmwks are done..time for revision..

ouh yesterday i dunno what angin suddenly.when my stepmum went home she started whining about her broken vase when suddenly i step out of my room only she kept her mouth shut..pandai ehhh kau..next ime do that often kay? peace ;]

eh basket aku rindu kau lah bacin tol..LOL..

signing off:
SA

2010-01-09T02:03:00.000-08:00

I just came back from west coast cc to take the edusave tingy and met joseph..cant believe i'll meet him there..then met his dad too..LOL..yeah we talked about primary schools..and yeah my instincts are right i met some of my pri school fren like firdaus, nafisah, arianti[?] an so on..im so tired..

And oh God when i reached home, i hit my stepmum's vase and it broke..im so fucking dead if she knows..damn it..im so careless..she'll blow up..She'llmake the hell out of me..and my dad wants to take the blame and i said no directly at his face but he insisted on taking the blame..

so fine i made up my mind..dad you can take the blame but if she wants to make the hell out of you just because of that fucking vase, im gonna smash the last pieces of the vase infront of her face..well who cares..damnit im so pissed..i know she'll make this fucking small issue into a big one until there's a damn fucking stupid war in this house..well who cares..i'll stand up for my dad..dammit..urgh..

I cant even contrl my temper..Dad is freaking out when he sees me always moody.. I had nightmares these few days..it really scares me..i'll woke up in the middle of the night shivering like i was having fever but duhh im not..oh God i feel like screaming my lungs out..

2010-01-08T05:02:00.000-08:00

Well guys, i mean girls sorry for just now. i'm just upset about something thats nothing personal. I went with the rst cuz i felt that i should rest my mind and im just frustated. No , im not frust with you girls but i guess i have to avoid you ppl when im down cuz i dunwanna like suddenly scream or letout my anger at you girls like i always do..sorry..

Well today was such a moody day..i felt relieved when sue and co could cheer me up.. you girls are so funny and fun..

Came to school was annoyed and in bad mood i dunno why..thats why i didnt talked much with ppl ard me..scared that i'll suddenly scream at your faces..hehs.. sorry sue for being so harsh to you..and thanks cuz you manage to laugh me off about just now..after school headed hm with sue and amalina.. We were about to cross the traffic light..although the traffic light was red, we were dreaming and we thought it was green so we walked and the cars moved too..we were like taken aback and luckily we only took one step forward and manage to step backwards in time..lol..
and 3 of us were like "EHHHH" lol...

hmm and i met didi for awhile..D gave me history revision book and a mini lip gloss to put at my hp and i cameron higland souvenier. thanks for that yeah D.. =D

Then went hm and fall asleep after i perspire like hell then i felt damn cold.. Had a nightmare that i never could imagine it would happen..

Had deja vuu these two days..

My stomach is upset with me cuz i had eating disorders..not my fault okay i just dont have to mood to eat..keep having stomachache..

tmr got mendaki and bursary thingy.. im so lazy to gooooo...

k and thats all for now..im off to talk to dad about something..

ALLAH memberi kita dua kaki untuk berjalan,
dua tangan untuk memegang
dua telinga untuk mendengar
dan dua mata untuk melihat.

signing off:
SA

2010-01-05T01:06:00.000-08:00

Well today was okaye..Didnt feel sleepy though i cant sleep last night.

I really cant sleep last night, kept tossing and turning a few hours before i fell asleep..

Guess i really starting to feel stress espcially for math..gosh..pray hard i can focus aye..

My feelings never change since the first day i fall in love with you.

signing off:
SA =]

2010-01-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

I LOVE THEM. =D

well, i didnt update my blog a longlonglong time why?? cuz i at my nenek peh umah ok? lol..

hmms...well well well...hmmm first day of school sucked..hehs..but im so glad to hug all those frens and classmates i missed so much.. ;DD

well today ........ joke ard, read book, listen to music, sleep........lalalla...

hmms well all those i know, i love you all okay? all my classmates, my frens and besties and true frens and hunneyh bunnies..goodluck for 2010..hope it will become a better year for you all and never give up okayy??? i'll be there when you need me.. =DD <3

well i guess thats all...
ehh wait oh yahh otw hm i bumped into didi anddidi hugged me for the very first time.. awww...sooo sweet..we sat and chatted for awhile then proceed home.. =DD

sa wanna go and hugg her pinky sygg and go bobok.. ;D

signing off:
SA :D

2009-12-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

FINALLY I'M SWEET SIXTEEN =DDD <3

I guess this year's birthday was the best birthday ever..gahhh..lol hmm let me start from the top of my list.. ;D

MY BESTFREN, HISYAM, he wished me Happy Bithday on sat mrng before he went for holiday for two weeks at jakarta..thanks yeah bestfren =D

After came back from johor on tues mrng, i opened my bag and was surprised to see a piece of paper with a birthdy wish on it..from my beloved cousin SYAHIRAH =DD thanks for the note aye so touchinggg..im gonna visit you by the end of this month again before u start your school next year..thanks =DD

On weds mrng ATIEQAH NABILA wishes me advanced birthday wish..thnks yeah.. =]]

On weds night before 12 AUNT gave me my birthday present : A big pink hello kitty fren teddy bear and a louis jean watch..She also gave me 50 bucks..love her loads.. =]

Then at 12 sharp the first to call me is BIRI..She called me and sang me a birthday song..im so touched..THANKS ALOT YEAH? =D

Then second person is BESTIE KU YANG TERSYGGG, SUE, she smsed me and wished me happy birthday..thanks bestie..Love ya loads <3 =DD

Then third person is kakak ipar ku yang tersygg..NIISSAA called me using her mum's fone and at first i didnt knw who it was cuz her voice was really diff..And she wished me Happy birthday alsoo..thank you kakak =DD

Then in the mrng ALIM and DILAH wished me..thanks yeah? =D

Then MUMMY CYG called and wished me but she say she'll only meet me end of this month.. nvm atleast she wish me right? love ya mum =DD

Then went out to meet LIWEI and PEALYN..they brought me to condo and then they say they need to go and take liwei's stomachache pill at pearlyn hse and they ask me to sit infront of the lift downstairs..then few mins after that they came out of the lift with their own-baked oreo cheesecake and sang a birthday song for me..sweet right..i was kinda surprise and so happy..then pearlyn pass me JAC'S present and liwei gave me a gift too..Jac gave me a scrapbook full of pics and touching words and memories..aww so touching nearly teared but i didnt..heeee...Then liwei's gift is also a special very special own made card...so touching alsooo..OMG thank you so much my true friends..love ya loadsss.. <3 =DD

Then went to chevrons and they swam and we played bowling, went to IMM for lunch and studied for awhile at the lib..thanks liwei for accompany me wait for the bus.. =D thanks for the fun day girls.. =DD

Then at night sue told me she wanna meet me to chat2 for awhile outside my house so i said okay..few mins latr she called me saying she's outside my house alr..when i opened my house door, jengjengjeng lol i saw a blue card, a circle red box and candles all around the box..but there was no one..i was like OMG? and i went out of the house and look ard but nobody..Then i took the card and i saw SUE AND HER BOYFREN, SHAIFUL peeping from behind the wall..and i was like "ahhh" LOL.. they came and they asked me to blow the candles..so sweet right my bestie and her beloved boyfren? =D Then she hugged me and gave me a kiss ;D jgn jealous eh shaiful..hahaa... Then we sat and chatted and i opened her gift box..she gave me a wonderful pretty bracelet with hearts on it..luckily i fit into it.. ;D then i keep delaying to blow the candles cuz i wanted sue and her boyfren to stay longer.. ;P Then we talked and laughed and crapped and i keep saying okay dahh more then 15 times [?] but didnt blow the candles..haha..then atlast few mins before 12 i wished some things and blew the candles..weeee.. =DD Then i took out all the presents that i get and show it to her..haha...shaiful ade ciri2 boleh jadik pak andam..hahaha.. Then talk and talk and then i need to go inside the house cuz it 12++ a.m alr..so said goodbye and sue gave me a kiss and i kissed her back..and the sweetest couple went home..awwwww sweet kankankan? heeee...i've all the pics but didnt manage to upload it cuz theres something wrong with blogger..But then i had a wonderful night with my bestie and her boyfren.. =DD thanks for everything SUE AND SHAIFUL.. =DD

And i slept till 2 p.m..hehs..going to nenek house later at night.. =D

AND EVERYONE THANKS FOR THE CALLS, THE SMSES, THOSE WISHES ON FACEBOOK AND THOSE LOVELY PRESENT AITE? I REALLY HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR THANKS TO YOU LOVELY WONDERFUL PPL.. =DD

i'll upload the photos soon okay? =DD

SIGNING OFF:
SA =DD

p/s: I cant wait to wear the watch and bought for me and the bracelet sue bought for me.. ;DDD and i slept so soundly with pinky2 love..sue you know who the pinky2 bear resembles.. ;D

2009-12-16T00:22:00.000-08:00

i just come back from johor.

i miss there alot..miss the nights me and my sedare go out at night and jln2 all around and lepak2 until late night..ouh and cousin gave me a surprise..she left a happy birthday note in my beg without me knowing it..OMG..sweet ehh..thank you so muchh..im sure im gonna go there again by end of this year.. =] and i hope we could be like last time, me,cousin,yus,faizal and all those neighbours, our lepak gang at johor..gosh i miss hanging out wth them.. =[ nvmms..

ouh while i was away, i dreamed a really sweet and sad dream..i dream about him.

From far i saw him lying down on a sofa,his back facing me..
He was perspiring profusely and menggigil..
I came towards him from behind
And i saw he was holding a note.
I squat beside him and saw the note,
On the note there was this love song and in the end he wrote my full name on it..
I looked at him and he looked so sick..
A tear fall from my eyes
I cried cuz i dont want him to leave me
I hugged him so tightly never wanting to let him go
And i say, "keep the note,it's for you to keep forever"
And i cried, hugged him and kissed him on his right cheek
I look at his face and our eyes met
He says, "please don't cry animore"

and i woke up..im so missing someone right now..gosh..

im going o my grandma house for a few days and celebrating my birthday there..

1 MORE DAY.. =]

SIGNING OFF:
SA

2009-12-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

OKAY IM GONNA MAKE THIS POST SHORT CUZ IM DEAD TIRED..

YESTERDAY MET AUNT AT YEW TEE AND WE WENT TO JOHOR..ITS JAM LIKE HELL..STAND IN THE BUS CAN FAINT SIA..LOL..THEN AUNT AND ME CUT THE QUEUE CUZ I TELL YOU AH THE QUEUE IS SOOOOOOO DAMN LONG I TELL YOU IF WE QUEUE UNTIL NIGHT ALSO CANNOT REACH JOHOR SIA..LOL..HMMS..THEN WE CUT QUEUE PRETEND TO BE SOTONGS AND GET ON A BUS AND THEN WE REACHED JOHOR...THEN GO CITY SQUARE AND EAT AT SEASON AND LAKSA SHACT THEN BOUGHT JEANS FOR MYSELF AND WATCHED THE MOVIE SANTAU..DAMN SCARY SEHH..WOAH I TELL YOU THE MATs OVER THERE DAMN FLIRTY SIA..GOT GF STIL CAN STARE2 AT ME AND SAY HELLO.SIAO..LOL..THEN TALK TO THIS HOTTT GUY AT PADINI..LOL..HE'S CHINESE BUT CAN SPEAK MALAY..HAHA..THEN GO HOME AND DAD FETCH ME AND AUNT AT YEW TEE POINT AND SEND AUNT HOME..MET GRANDMA FOR AWHILE AND WENT HM..REACH HM ARD 12++ AT NIGHT..MY LEGS LIKE DAMN CRAM SEH..THEN STILL CAN SWITCH ON COM AND TALK TO SOME PPL..OUH YEAHHH BEFORE THAT I TELL YOU I LIKE COMA LIKE THAT SIA..OTW HM, DAD DROVE ALONG BUKIT BATOK RD THERE I SAW ACCIENT..SAW MOTORCYCLE CRUSHED LIKE HELL..THEN SAW POLICE AND AMBULANCE AND TRAFFIC POLICE..THEN SAW ONE BODY UNCOVERED SOMORE SIA AT THE GRASS THERE..I THINK HE' NOT ALIVE..GOT BLOOD..OMGG..I SAW THEN TRAUMA SIA..BECOME SPEECHLESS...ALL THE WAY HM I WANTD TO SAY SOMETHING BUT SOMETHING JUST SHUT MY MOUTH..SCARYY..

SLEPT NEARLY 2 A.M AND WOKE U AT 6+ FOLOW DAD GO HIS CONVOCATION DIPLOMA AT MASJID RAUDHAH.. =] THEN NOW HERE I AM..GOING JOHOR FOR 3 DAYS..GAHHH.. -.-

[SORRY I HAVE TO WRITE IN CAPS LOCK CUZ LATER I CANT READ MY OWN BLOG..]

TILL HERE..I'LL UPLOAD PHOTOS WHEN I GET BACK FRM JOHOR OKAYY?
TAKECARE PPL =]

SIGNING OFF:
SA <3
[4MORE DAYSS AND IM GONNA BE 16 ;DD]

2009-12-10T22:19:00.000-08:00

I GUESS IT'S FAIR TO GIVE PEOPLE CHANCES TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

THERE CAN BE MIRACLES, WHEN YOU BELIEVE =]

The most amazing thing in life is love.It comes when you least expect it. =]

Don't turn away, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid, oh keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
Please hold on, it's alright ~ belle of the boulevard

Well today rot at hm..my aunt has lots of office work to do so we had to cancel our johor jln2 today..woke up when dad knocked on the door but i fall asleep again.. haha..then woke up at 1..then dad says he bought for me breakfast thats why he woke me up just now..then he havent eat breakfast cuz he waited for me..sorry.. then after that shwer and solat while waiting for him to habis smayang jumaat.. then eat and here i am..im rotting..nth to do at hm..actualli have luh need to fold clothes and clean the house..lol..later can do..i wanna go outtt.. =[ lol..

hmms..tmr going to jb..cnfirm jam sia..pfft..takecare uh sa..lol..hmms..

im happy..happy because..... tkmuh kaypoh okay? haa..

im staying here, i aint going nowhere..

signing off:
SA =]

2009-12-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

yesterday

well yesterday was at mum hse..mum woke me up in the mrng to meet abg..i was kinda like scolding2 her bcuz you know im angin..damn tired then not enough sleep..hee.. at her house i keep disturbing my mum sleep..wenever she's sleeping i'll watch tv and switch on the radio at the same time..then i'll keep calling her name and she'll wake up cuz everytime at her house i'll sure feel scary alone..haha..

then shower and all siap2 then meet niisaa at queenstown mrt..she's soooooo damn hot and pretty okayy..[winks] heee...then get down at tampines and cabbed there..abang is so damn handsome now sehhhh...haha... =P then the way talked to niisaa and joke ard..yeah btol kate niisaa kite mmg KECOH..hahaha..after meet abang we go tampiness mall i guess..wait before that went to bank..
i tell you i damn pissed cuz my dad asked me to withdraw 300 dammit bucks from my acc to pay my bills..wth..lol..uh forget it.serve me right lor who ask me use alot..padan muke kau sa..hahaha..
Then niisaa say she wanna treat me sakae sushi for my birthday...wooooooo..weeee... love her loads sehh.. <33 haha...
Then we breakfast at mac and talk alot about all stuffs and proceed hm...mum alight at buona vista cuz she need to go work then left me and niisaa for our journey back hm..we talked alot lah..haha..about this and that..then we alight at j.e and niisaa took the middle train. till we meet again ayeee..miss her.. =]
then reach hm only just put my bag down, i fought with my dad..im like wth la.. cried whole day mcm budak kecik yg prangai cam setan..lol..then my bestfren cheered me up and aizura too.. =DD

today
href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_r_U1H2J37cQ/Sx_OA3NIaMI/AAAAAAAAAYE/VPqLNSa8ixs/s1600-h/DSC00524.JPG">

yeah today went out with dear birii.. =]
she woke me up at 10 today..and i shower and rushed to masak nasi and jemor kain..then met her at the bus stop..and we went to clementi gym..after that went to west coast plaza bought some stuffs and proceed hm..she's counting down to my birthday you know..soooo sweet..heee..then went hm and slept...woke up shower smayang then do alot of housework..wee...tmr left to angkat kain and lipat kain.. hmms..well thats all...lalalla...

" We come to love not by finding a perfect
person, but by learning to see an imperfect
person perfectly ”
~ Sam Keen <3 =DD

signing off:
SA =D

2009-12-03T23:45:00.000-08:00

PRESENTING MY DEAR SAYANGGG DEDEKKKK <3 ;DD

cute aint he? hahha..hmm he loves pinchng my face and i love to bite his cheeks.. =]
meeting mum later at j.e then cutting my hair and i will be at her hse till tues..
haish..lolol..hmms..lalalalal...

well i've been kinda crazy this days..too bad those ppl who have to layan me. =p
sorry but my pills are running out..hahah..jkjk..
will be away till tues means no com..gahhh..but got dear syangg mummy.. miss her much tauu..weeee.....

i dream of you today..just seeing your face in my dreams makes me feel alive..
if i could make every dream come true, i will be the happiest girl in the world..

to 'LIAR' :
YOU DONT DESERVE A GIRL LIKE HER..A FRIEND LIKE YOU I COULD FIND THOUSANDS OF THEM..
IF YOU WANNA BE MY FREN, YOU ACCEPT ME AS WHAT I AM IF NOT YOU CAN GET LOST CUZ IT DOESNT MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO ME.THANK YOU =]

signing off:
SA
takecare ppl =] <3

2009-12-03T04:03:00.000-08:00

"JADILAH SEPERTI SEORANG WANITA DI DALAM BEKAS KACA YANG SUAR DIESENTUH, HANYA ORANG YANG MAMPU SAHAJA BOLEH MEMILIKINYA." ~ SYURA CINTA

well..hmms...well today was fun.. went to j.p today with ruz,hr bibik and adik2.. we watch new moon and her mum blanja us makan..weee thanks =]
NEW MOON IS DAMNNNNNNN AWESOMEEEEEEEE.... I WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN...

OMG..i nearly cried watching it..its so sweet and awhhhhh...lol...i dun wanna say anything here..those who havent watch it you should okayy..gogogogoooo.. hahas..

after movie had lunch and we went searching for ruz dad's present.. =] then proceed home..tmr going to mum's house and will be mia from hm again till tues..

tues im meeting brother kesayangan kuuuu and nisaaa...awwww can wait to see them both.. =DD im so happy atlast can see abanggg.... =]

everytime you lie, i dont care..why? cuz i loose NOTHING and you gain NOTHING TOO.. but you LOOSE ONE THING; MY TRUST..
i'll see how long you can lie to me =]

signing off:
SA

2009-11-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

AND WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE, YOU DON'T GIVE UP. =]

IM BACK..LALALALA....

Well hmmm...at home now..i miss going to school.. =[
oh and im sooo damn nervous for next year...
it's been awhile since i go for band..
went to melaka few days ago..come back and im sick now, just recovered from fever..
but my blocked nose, sorethroat and cough is annoying me..
going hongkong ard dec like that..woooo...lol...
my voice sounds like bumble bee [the name that jac gave me wenever i got sorethroat]
ahhhh i wanna go out with hunneyh bunnies..nooooo jac is going overseas next week and i cant go out with her.. =[ tsktsk..
bought my huneyh bunnies souveniors frm melaka..
should i work? hmmmm rather then roting at hm, finishing my dad's money and going out 24 hrs and making my fone bill go up to 160++ i rather find money to help my dad kan? hmmms...

what did i learn a past few weeks? do things that u feel is good for you.. make decision wisely.. im trying to enkoy my life right now and i need to complete hmwks...dangggggggggg i wanna study also...blahblah...

im so bored..clean my room and adik room after this need to fold all the clothes that's left in the basket while im awayy..basket siol...lol...hmmmm...
ahhhh i miss all my frens you know..i miss joking with sue in class and laughing like shit till kena scolded by mdm chang..hehs.. =B
i miss messing ard in sch..miss seeing ehem alight frm the bus stop and walk to school..hmms...miss band..too bad im scared kds will scold me..

well i guess everyone love their ccas..they are talented in it thats why they love it..i tend to repeat my mistakes i just donnoe why..

lalalala....eveyone in my hse is sleeping now..i guess sue is overseas and jac is still having a tough time getting rid of her bee hive from her bookshelf.. =p
haha..hmmm guess i have to go to the library more often to read more eng books cuz my eng terribly sucked.. sad much eh? haha...

cant wait for sch reopens and for al my sec 4 frens this year, hope yu will pass your nlvls will flying colours n continue with yr sec 5 n get good grades for olvl.. =] every single one okay all my ex-classmates..i have no grudges you see.. =]

mum, glad you ask that fucking guy to leave you..im happy with whoever you think is good for you and your future.. just rmb dont repeat the same mistakes again aye.. =]
awh i miss chacha u noe.. =[ haha..

i guess that's it for now..panjangnye aku type..haha...

signing off:
SA =]

2009-11-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

Cuz I washed up, fixed up, picked up
all my broken thing.

im gonna be m.i.a from home for a few weeks..where am i going? its none of your business..

well dad, i've fold all the clothes and put it at the laundry basket.
i've cleaned my room..irfan if you wanna play the com and chill at my room go on but pls don't mess it up..
well ppl anything search me through my handphone..
do not call my house cuz you won't find me there..
oh and dad i've tick my booklist n i'll put it on the dining table before i go out later..

hmm well thats all i guess..its time to find my own way..

well when am i goig to go hm? idk..wen i have the mood to come hm then i'll be back.

i've lost interests in everything..
Sorry

signing off:
SA

2009-11-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

It takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them
and a lifetime to forget them.

well today went to queensway to meet mum..then ard 8++ went take taxi hm, drop mom at her house and straight went hm..im bored tmr gt camp..i wanna work..really.. i miss nenek..nyai so sorry sakinah tkleh dtg eh..psl skola..i'll go once my band camp ends..insyallah..

havent gosok my uniform...haish...penat penat penat dokk..

oh and im planning to go out with honeyh bunniesby next week..places we have to go: vivo, ecp, sentosa, swimming and bowling..gahhhhhhh cant wait oh and shop till we drop.. wait i need to find money first then can talk..hehs.. =[

signing off:
SA

2009-11-16T02:09:00.000-08:00

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees, yet we cut them down.
And some people still wonder why some are afraid
when they are told they are loved

Today rot at hm..yeah..i slept yesterday at 1++ and woke up tday at 1++ also.. haha.. im bored and bored..listening to musics, chatting with ppl, talking to jac.. planning for tmr and so on..bored bored bored..haish.. haha..

i got no life eh? haha..ya right..

signing off:
SA

2009-11-15T04:46:00.003-08:00

I'M NOT MYSELF AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF ALL THESE MESS.PLEASE..

well..today went to chevrons to celebrate shu yun belated birthday..photos all in facebook aye..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHU YUN.. =DDD

damn lah..really..i feel like tooot..everything's like toot..damn it..honestly i'm lost..i dunno what am i feeling seriously..anibody bring me back to reality.. bring me back to myself..haish..im not in the mood for anything..even my dad now says im angin..i keep scolding and screaming at ppl..keep shutting up myself in my room.. im getting further away from my family..i dun feel like going to grandma house wen she's always expecting me to come..oh gosh..wats wrong with me?

im not myself..im pretending to be happy and smiling but im just pretending.. when can this fake things ends?

forgive me i'm trying to find myself now..
i need time just time..

2009-11-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

TRUE FRIENDS ARE FOREVER

im sick:fever,blocked nose,sorethroat and cough. -.-

we've been bff's since primary school.and i love her loads..well she knows it when there's something not right about me..see there's chemistry between us..im so damn happy to see her happy with her bf.. :DD

i'm sick..dad dun let me go anywhere today..didnt go band cuz tak larat..
but i have bbq later.dunno maybe going..damn this fever..i havent study for tmr madrasah man..haish..well i didnt take any medicine cuz i dun feel like so i just hide all the medicines from my dad..

ahh im damn tired..mum's not meeting again..walao..tsk..i miss her so much u noe..

signing off:
SA

Love is when you take away the feeling,
the passion, the romance- and you find out
you still care for that person

2009-11-13T03:57:00.000-08:00

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this guy?
he's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems

Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now

what can i say? well i feel like shit now..dammit..damn everything uh..sial..
haish..i feel stupid..i keep hurting ppl ard me..i feel so bad..why am i always hurting others?? why sa? im such a loser ass man..damn..i cried again..

band today sucks..i dun care animore..it sucked not because wtv shit its because im so not i the mood..i've tried my best to prevent myself from crying again.. i feel so sad and i didnt concentrate at all..damn..

and now damn it i hve a fever..well my face is very pale..my body is very cold and ppl touch damn hot..wtv..sakit sakit lah sape kisah..pfft..

just leave me alone..shit.

signing off:
SA

2009-11-12T03:06:00.000-08:00

HAD FUN TODAY.. =DD

Thanks to jac,liwei,aravin,nas and ze yang..well during the first period me and liwei went to play basketball at the backetball near the dnt room..then after sch went lunch at teban hawker centre then went to the basketball court there..well photos are in FB.. =]

then nas came and me,jac,liwei and him played soccer at the street soccer at teban near my old house..just started playing,it rained..then we all continue playin.. then aravin and ze yang came..like what aravin says, today im very unlucky and yesh i am..why? ask them..i get hit by the soccer ball 4 times lor and the impact is damn BOOOOMMM...LOL..

first it hit my womb that is when aravin kick the ball..then kena my face[cheeks] and hand..still survive though..then kena my stomach and at last my feet crammed..LOL..its damn funny uh..ze yang says: "when you see the ball just whacked it.." and i did..

had a few goals..wee.. =D under the rain, wet and sweating like poks poks..LOL.. then send jac and liwei to the bus stop and walk home..asked dad to make for me hot tea and he says: "your wet in the rain?" and i was like, "yeah plus playing soccer just now." then he gave me that -__- face.. haha..

well tmr last day of sch..i tink im gonna get sick..haha..nvms..

A priceless moment is when the person that
you have fallen in love with, looks you right
in the eyes to tell you that they have fallen
in love with you.

signing off:
SA
[i feel like dancing now.. =] LOL..]

2009-11-10T03:47:00.000-08:00

You may never know how important you are to me
or how much I care for you, but you are
and you will always be. Bear in mind that I
couldnt afford to lose someone I've learned to
care about so much.

well didnt go for band just now..called up the places of work and they damn choosy uh feel like smacking their face siol.. -________-

went lunch with jac,liwei,fana n pearlyn at IMM mac... uh stupid mood swings luhh.. fed up sia..i guess i should just take up nelly's offer..urgh idk...

oh and just now while crossing the road i almost get hit by acar..luckily liwei was there and she pulled my hand if not.....takecare sa..haa..liwei is my savour =] and thanks so much for teaching me maths.. :DD

well im so pissed cuz my adek go pecahkan mouse and act innocent then he always mess up my room..dammit..slalu rosakkan bende kau tau tak..fed up siol.. i feel like whacking him sia..walao..pfft..pergi pki duit kau sendiri luh replace bende sial ni.. kau pikir aku cop duit pe..sial..WTH la..

signing off:
SA

2009-11-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

DAMN I CANT UPLOAD THE PHOTOS..WHATS WRONG..TSK TSK.. -.-

well..yesterday went to marina with azlin to search for jobs..then went to esplanade and then she brought me to holland..great and tiring day..and i almost cried otw hm cuz i thought i got lost..k lame much la sa.. -.- then ayah membebel blahblah..

then today went home with amalina.. =] we slack and played buai-buai..then got dizzy and wrote my name and sumone's name on the pasir..we'll i guess i'll try uploading the photos tmr..then proceed home...and now i haven do all hmwks and im in front here.. WTH la sa.. -.-

i always knew looking back on the tears
would make me laugh. but i never knew
looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
i guess i'm just missing the old times...

well yeah definitely i am..everything just happens so fast..i can feel like its just yesterday everything happened..i can even imagine it very clearly the moments..
now thats left is all traces of memories..how i hope you would come back..i want to see your face see you like last time..gosh..im so sad..its all so very empty..
now all i could do is to see you in my dreams..

last two days, before i sleep, i prayed to ALLAH i wish to see you again and also in my dreams..and i did..i really did..you were standing there smiled to me and i ran towards you...and i woke up..i sat down on my bed and smile..how i wish.....

signing off:
SA

2009-11-07T03:42:00.000-08:00

heyys..had fun yesterday at ben and jerry.. :DD
today had sectionals..it was kinda ok..

nth to do now..wait i need to hafal surah for tmr madrasah eoy exam..okayy hope i could hafal by tonight.insyaALLAH..well i guess tmr will be going out with azlin and sue kalau jadi =D finding job..

You know you truly love somebody when they hurt
you so badly, but all you can think about
it is the times when they made you smile.

yesterday before i slept,
i closed my eyes and prayed to see you in my dreams,
And i did. i really did..

signing off:
SA

2009-11-05T03:37:00.000-08:00

photos for yesterday. =]

today was kinda ok? i got nth to blog about actually..
oh today get drenched totally two times.. -.- think gonna get sick soon..
first was walking to sch with biri and talking then suddenly rain pur so heavy wen we reaching sch..ape lagy we damn wet lor.. met my hunnies at the bus stop and walk to school all wet.. then shivering damn cold seh..

then going home with fana and nad we get wet again..oh thanks for walking with me aite? =DD

guess i'll go search for work soon..haish..im bored..

i can't prevent this from happening.

wheres your gavel? your jury?
whats my offense this time?
youre not a judge but if youre gonna judge me
well sentence me to another life.

signing off:
SA

[cant believe even our own 'frens' have two faces..tsk tsk.. -.- get lost ass.. thank you :D]

2009-11-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

DEDEKKK
thats my youngest bro.. =]

well had cip on sat..it was fun and i still rmb that guy who came to me..haha..
k wtv..yesterday after madrasah met mom and went to causeway point..
just now went to IMM with didi<3 hee..it was such fun uh..she was as usual, high..
haha..oh and sh belanja me this ezlink card cover thats blue in color..hee..thanks D.. :D didi's going back to johor tonight..cya next week.. =] and thks for the fun day..
ouh and otw home saw hanzalah. =] first he didnt notice me then he wore his specs and saw me..haha..all the best for your last papers aite? :DD

biri and nelly called saying they found job liao and i can join themm..weeeee...
cant wait siaa..LOL...im so dammit lazy to go school tmr..haish..
where did i put all my books?? LOL..

wat else? hmms...im bored at hm.. -.-

party queen cause a scene , so ridiculous....
your falling, who's crashing now?

signing off:
SA

2009-10-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

Bodohh buang mase aku jek..

im like WTH siol..anak sape sak yg nak keje smpi tahun depan..buang mase siol.. keje tk dpt..pffft...watever..im gonna continue searching..

haish..today was last day of school..not for us actually..we have two weeks of extended thingy..haish..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD..,LOVE YA MUCH MUCH.. <3

im so sad..i dun wanna say why..just shut up okay..haish..

jac was inside the toilet..hahas..haish tmr got hortpark cip thingy..damn im so lazy to go..haish..

lari lari aku, lari tinggalkan, tinggalkan semua ini,
untuk mencari, untuk mencari, ketenangan
aku pergi tinggalkan
tinggalkan kau sendiri
ku pergi kini ku pergi tinggalkanmu sendiri..

i'm flying off soon..far away from s'pore..
and i don't feel like coming back here animore.. its useless..

signing off
SA

2009-10-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

I HATE MOOD SWINGS
THESE MOOD SWINGS ARE JUST MAKING ME OUT OF CONTROL..PFFT.

ASSHOLE..lol..urrghh..What's wrong with me nowadays??
keep getting pissed easily. get sad for no reason..i psycho or wad sia? lol..
DEFINITELY IM NOT.SHUT UP.. -_____-
haish haish haish.. i wanna go to the beach.. calm myself down.. gosh..

I miss him so much you know..haish..i dreamed of him. ohh
I've a wish.How i hope that wish will come true..
emotional breakdown a few mins ago again..i suddenly cried..WTH la..
listening to songs and recalling all those moments he made my heart bergetar..
ahh gosh...
Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku
Aku cinta...~hanya kau yang mampu
im not letting you go..

I feel so down n tired..damn tired..haish..and just now, is it really you?
uh forget it..
What's wrong with me? really? anybody can help me??
im so lazy n tired to upload the photos we took just now..
i dun feel like going to sch tmr..dunno lah see my mood how..

signing off:
SA

[kau tak perlu nak kasi aku attitude siol..aku sepak muke kau senget tu mulot. pantat tol...lol..]

2009-10-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

hahas..the rest fo the pics are in facebook..went to gym yesterday with jac,liwi n pearlyn. :DD then went to jp for awhile jac wanna buy her things then rushed hm..liwei searched for job..

Today had madrasah..talk n talk..ustad not feeling well..then went to sheng shiong with D.. :D then we plan to go out next week.. yay..
im suppose to go cck now but then dad say go next week after school end..
so yeah..aunt bought for me a dress..sorry cant go there..now im rotting at hm..

tmr going out with biri.. :DD weee...haha..going vivo beb..its been so long since i go there. =]

oh and check out the vid slot akasia by the fabulous cats..its so nice luh.. <3

The Fabulous Cats - Slot Akasia

Inikah berakhirnya
Hidupku yang ku rasa tidak secantik potret yang terlakar dikaca
Inikah makna cinta
Datangnya berbunga bunga belum dijamah pahitnya jelas terasa

Ku renung kisah kita
Perbalahan antara
Erti bersama
Airmata dan lelah buat kita berbalah
Dendam terujud segala yang indah
Hilang hilang

Dari satu hujung ke satu penghujung berlari
Tapi hanya makin ku jalani
Jalan jalan yang sempit sekali
Imbasan warna warni cerita cerita dalam hidup kita
Hingga paling kelam kan terpapar di slot akasia

Ku renung kisah kita
Perbalahan antara
Erti bersama
Airmata dan lelah buat kita berbalah
Dendam terujud segala yang indah
Hilang hilang

Jauhku fikirkan tentang kita tanpa kita
Sedalam dalam kita mencari jawapan yang sama
Mungkin berbeza antara jalan yang ditentukan
Namun ku percaya jika mata ditutup disitu ada cint

Berpasangan insan telah dijadikan
Dalam satu jiwa bakal mewujudkan
Bermusim kegelapan dapat dipinggirkan
Namun kita manusia senang dibutakan
Menyintai bukan untuk disakiti
Sejambak bicara harus ditepati
Carta belaian jiwa dilonjakkan tinggi
Tak menjunam jatuh menghempas ke bumi
Sejati itu yang kau ucapkan
Sebuah melodi dan hanyalah satu ungkapan
Kata kata lontaran sekadar ukiran hiasan
Takkan berbunyi bila bertepuk sebelah tangan
Setinggi mana tak guna nak dikecapi
Tiada dua satu jiwa tiada erti
Tiada lagi rekaan khayalan mimpi ngeri menyelubungi
Hanya meniti hari meneliti hati

signing off ppl:
SA =]

2009-10-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm so sad and pissed right now..

I'm so pissed with mum.
I'm so sad cuz dad just scolded me cuz he check the msgs i sent this month are like over one thousand plus plus..he say he's not gonna let me use line animore. wth lah.. haish..
mak lagi uat hal..like how seh? which one u want me to trust? you or you? dont make me stuck in the middle okay. i feel like shit.. watever ah.. im so pissed.. urrrghh.. stupid..
now i have to use phone house n call ppl..nk sms pon kene siket2.. haish.. camne nak uat call pk phone uma klu bile org pki fone uma je ade org kacau..nk bbl pon tk senang..dulu cordless nye fone da baek2 gy tukar.. mepek ah..

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU LARHH??? urggh.. i just dun understand la seh..

stupid mood swings..kasi tampar satu kali sedap seh..whats wrong with me? is it me or is it just my feelings??

uh no mood to write animore la..byee pantat.

2009-10-22T06:03:00.007-07:00

TODAY WAS BOOOOOOOMMMMM

hahah..had ultimate frisbee today vs unity sec..we won for the whole three matches. woo beb..haha..got one more trophy to add as my collection..hahah.. :D
scream my lungs out like hell...hahah..but my suare still ok..
went home with amalina. =]

oh results are okayy.. i passed all except im not sure for eng yet.. :D alhamdulillah..

oh and my lips are bleeding and my finger bengkak. -__- lol..
tmr got sex education thingy at hall beb..lol..jac cnfirm hyper one.. haha..

suara dengarkanlah aku, apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku
aku disini menunggunya, masih berharap di dalam hatinya
suara dengarkanlah aku, apakah aku slalu di hatinya
aku disini menunggunya masih berharap di dlm hatinya...
~suara[ku berharap]hijau daun

I've been missing you all this while.. I want you to know that my feelings never change.. ku masih berharap..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

CHACHAAAA..I MISS YOU SEHHH...AWWW..

cute aint she? i love her..haha..Today i rot at home..gosh..its like i think the first time during sats i was stuck at home..but atleast i make full use u noe..few things i did today:

first thing i watched rebah di hujung pelamin den apa artinya cinta..
Then i sapu satu rumah..
after that i go kemas my bilek all the books that was thrown all over the place during the exams i put one corner..lol..then upload photos and then wash clothes and jemur baju..then i watched tv and fell asleep..i woke up wn i was shocked cuz the remote control i was holding in my hand falls to the ground..lol..well..

Today im mad at myself..seriously what's wrong with me nowadays???
it's like i get mad easily and i always scold the ppl ard me..i feel like slapping myself u noe..haish..my adek today alr kena scolded by me two times..den after i scold him i feel so sad..like why i can't control my anger..ahhh..bodoh.. lol..

tmr got madrasah then after that maybe rotting at hm..dunno where to go..haish..
i miss mum n bro..oh maybe im going to cck tmr..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

SYURGA CINTA

yesterday was such a tiring day..in one day we manage to go like um more den 5 houses? it was such a fun day uh..and yesterday also 2 ppl step on my feet with their heels and i was like ouch..haha..took photos..i love annisa..nadiah's younger sister..gosh..i've always wanted a sister noe..i'll upload the photos tmr aye.. im so tired now just get back frm lot 1..

you..you just get lost okay.. so much of me putting pity on you bcuz of this but ended up you.....k this is stupid really..sampi bile you wanna hide urself from us? ur getting nowhere n its stupid..seriously..wen i heard that im so upset,angry and pissed..how could u do thAT..seriously..sampai hati..im really really really upset.. tak sangka ur like this..ur ditatang bagai minyak yg penuh..im very sad okay hearing all these stories..i alr aggap ur atuk cam my own..how dissappointing to see u like this..im so pissed..never ever let me bump or see u anywhere outside cuz if i do, im gonna make the hell out of u..klu ikotkan ati i feel like slapping ur face if i see u.. really..just pls..those sacrifices made by him..ur such an ass.

im so pissed..everytime aunt tell me that my hati sayu..sayu dgrkan kisah silam korg n ended up like this..sedih tau tk..really..
i have my own problems too and i wanna see u all happy, become good ppl..

a few weeks ago wen the incident happened, my heart is like a broken glass that is glued and then it falls and get broken again..i try to make myself happy,the ppl ard me happy but inside me..u dunno how scared am i hearing ppl scream or see ppl fight. kecut tau hati..it just makes me more sensitive n how i wish i could be strong again..

to him: You know i've never stop loving you..It's just so hard to understand u..ui dunno how much i missed u right now..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

One day, your loves one will leave you for good, and one day you will leave them too..

Haris im really sorry to hear that okay..i miss ur atuk too so much cuz it's been since a very very long time since i see him n you..i miss u so much u noe..rmb how we spent our vary young age playing games together and then that thing happened and after years we didnt met, u went to my grandma house during hari raya last year..was so damn happy n shock to see you grow so matured..how i wished i could hug u the moment i see u..i miss u so much okay..n i hope we could be close like last time..just tabahkan ur ati okay abang haris? i know ur strong.. im sad too n i hope i get to see you all..
geog paper was ok i guess..laughed during the exam AGAIN because of sue larh..
SUE STOP MAKING ME LAUGH SURING EXAMS OK..PPL WILL THINK IM SUFFERING FRM DEPRESSION...
HAHA..k i've a few things to do after the exams:
ALOT actually..hehs..

1. i wanna go shopping, go esplanade n spend one whole day there, go vivo go sentosa, ecp, wcp n alahh all over s'pore la senang kan..

2. I wanna visit my mum,sleepover at her place, go n sleep at cck umah nenek cuz i miher so so much n talk to my aunt i miss u so much too aunt..

3. spring cleaning my room..lol..make it sparkle with no dust [mcm phm]..

4. study for the upcoming 3E exam on 22 oct..

5. i wanna spend time with all my bffs like last time can..okayy?? =]] hee..

thats all i guess...i forgot the rest maybe..im suppose to be practising math now..
-.- oh n thurs is eng oral..i guess my eng sucks to the core to the max anyone pls help me okayy..hehs..i think dats all luh ok..

ohh i miss him so much..i dream of u do uow that..lol..how i wish all the dreams could be evriday..tak dpt ngok muke in reality dlm mimpi pun jadi luh kan..haha..
lastly wish me luck for tmr paper.. n after that u'll hear me screaming cuz i wanna de stress n have fun like nobody's bussiness...

signing off:
SA..

[ oh and i hate ppl who doesnt respond to apologies..like c'mmon terlanggar siket siol its good that i said sorry 3 times u noe..klu kau bad mood ke ape atleast senyum la tkyah tunjok muke..den lpas tu kau nk uat muke siak ke tu kau peh psl ok? haha..siak la me.. -.- ]

2009-10-12T05:14:00.000-07:00

I miss my nenek

gosh..examx really can kill you..it makes you go crazy and it can makes u laugh in the mid of exam..lol..i did that ok and sue thinks im crazy..k stop..i should be revising for geog tmr not on the com..and msn is stupid especially ebuddy..im so pissed uh..it sends stupid links to other ppl and it really annoyed me n them too [maybe]..gosh..im so sorry for the annoying links eh..haiyy..and someone used my acc to signed into msn in another com..wtf seh..really..
physics paper was ok just nw..to hell with chem..really..haha..
gosh..just now wen i walked into the hall n open the chem exam paper, all those things i rmbered disappear suddenly..n i was sitting there n looking blank with my brain blank n those selfish ppl who keep me distracted for 15 mins hearing ur dammit noises..you all are such an ass..pised f seh..name je pandai dlm pelajaran tapi... k im not gonna say it animore..

to you: Hey you knoe what? all this time i want you to know one thing:
i've never stopped loving you since the first time i fall in love with you..i swear.. really..and i just want you to know how much you really mean to me n how much you make me smile through my tears..I dunno and i guess my feelings this time are strong, to strong for me to let you go..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Friendship will never end though,
there's conflict sometimes..hehs...

oh n wen u feel stress..feel like shit and ur walking in darkness ALONE hoping someone would walk by you..

wen to nus just now to meet jac,liwei n pearlyn..study for awhile n end up camwhore-ing n dance like mad..relieve stress beb..haha..then went home n wen i walking to my hse i kena kacau ngan mat mat motor beb.. -.- dorg jln raya den all kumpul luar rumah my neighbor..then they say hiee.. -.- luckily i pretend listen to music..hee.. tmr feel like goping west coast park to study..can focuz at hm adek2 memekak..klu dpt scotchtape mulot dorg kan best? haha..haish..exams2 it can make u go crazyyy.. oh and i dream of something..i dunno how to say..maybe i dunnid to say here..im bored..tired..haish..maybe later otp with jac..weee... =]

signing off:
SA

2009-10-08T02:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow im meeting mum..i miss her sia.. =[

Mum wanna pass me abg's fone cuz abg ask me to use his fone..the only bende untk belek2 if i miss him..Life has to move on kan..It's also good for his future..Who knows later he's back he's gonna be a much much better person then wat he is now.. Life is full of test..We have to be strong..To be strong doesnt mean you cant cry..people have feelings to right? cry can make you feel better sop wen you feel like crying just cry..Each test teach you to be more stronger for the future..who knows in the future you gonna be tested with things that are more complicated than this..Life has ups and downs you see..susah dahulu senang kemudian..

Sometimes, things doesnt go the way you want them to.

Some things are just not possible to be carried out.

Yesterday sue fetch me ard 6..i fell asleep while waiting for her..then blaja and she joke ard..her family is very funny ah..lol..ok then blaja n blaja den my mum called n she told me sumthing..i had no mood to study then.. damn tired decided to rest..lied down on her bed and i started to tell her everything..then she light up 2 candles and put on the middle of the bed..i told her evrything that happened.. Every single thing from the point wen i fall in love with him a few months ago..Love at first sight wen i saw his smile..i didnt expect to fall in love again..then ard da nk pkol 10 i think she send me home..=] fun day..oh and the most thing she's scared about wen im going to her house is me falling asleep on her bed..lol..i've fall asleep like a few hours before..n evrytime i'll keep quiet she'll say, "Sa dont sleep.." hehs..tmr combine humans paper..

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective

signing off:
SA

2009-10-06T09:11:00.001-07:00

i miss mum..she's not okay..she called me yesterday night n her voice was like..... i noe she's crying..mum dun be so sad okay..dad i noe ur sad too...im stuck in the middle..stupid ass..urgh i cant even soothe them..i wanna call mum..she's alone.. dat stupid urgggh forget it...im like falling to pieces alr but i told myself to be strong..i need time ok to stand back on my feets n be strong again..give me time.. urgh i cannot focus..stupid lah..
last msg i sent to him : "jaga diri baik2"
that was after he called me while i was otw to sch n i cried again..
ahhh gosh..i feel like shit..i feel so stupid like a dumbass..damn..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-02T03:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AZLIN.. :DD

yeah..today M.T paper was kinda hard easy? lol..yeah..it was fun today..after school went to celebrate azlin's birthdAy with fana, atiqah.b, nelly, wani n sykin at west coast park..we waited for the cake to arrive..waited so long till our butt cram cuz we sitting at the bus stop..so me, fana n nelly decided to go wc mac first..after eating n all the rest came..we went to the shelter near the jetty for azlin n muzaffir to arrive..while doing that, me fana n nelly went near the sea to rest our tired minds..then bharatth [?], salif and nazri [?] came..then the birthday girl arrive n we sang for her b'day song..after that we went to search for slugs..i warn them to be careful cuz i've once nearly fall down the sea bcuz of the slippery rocks..haha.. had fun talking n laughing then we proceed hm..

[for you <3''Suara dengarkanlah aku, apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku? Aku disini menunggunya masih berharap di dalam hatinya..Suara dengarkanlah aku, apakah aku selalu di hatinya, aku disini menunggunya masih berharap di dlm hatinya.." ]- suara[ku berharap]-hijau daun.

i've got a wish..a wish to beloved brother..i want to feel your hug before you go in.. U must understand that dad didnt mean to do this..he had no choice..i noe ur still mad. im gonna miss you so much..its hard to let you go..damn hard..it breaks me to pieces..im sorry i cant be there cuz i can't..my wish for you to hug me and show ur sister that you'll takecare of urself..Love ya forever brother..

ohh gosh..i feel like crying..stupid..
manusia, tak pernah terlepas dari membuat kesilapan
reflect back your mistakes. don't repeat it but learn from it..
Everyone is given a chance..A chance for them to become a better person..

signing off:
SA

2009-10-01T03:43:00.001-07:00

MY COM IS BACK TO NORMAL.. YAYYYYYY...WEEEEE~

LOL..kayss..its been such a damn long time since i've been online.my com suddenly broke down..lol..ALOT of things had been happening lately..Today felt like stupif..few emotional breakdown..gosh..october..oh gosh as the days neared, i feel so ahhhh idk how to xplain..im so sad..gosh..tmr's m.t eoy paper cant believe that time flies so past..k i cant write down anymore cuz i'll break down again..so till here..

signing off:
SA

2009-08-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

heyys..yesterday was fun day..had photoshoot for class and band..but somehow i feel so down i dunno why..haiyoh..n i keep getting pissed off easily..like wth.. watever..then after band had section dinner at IMM..so me,fana,wanping,weisheng n jonathan went to IMM mac to eat..then nadia came n after awhile we proceed home. so fana,nad and weisheng took mrt..wanping ran after her bus so left me and jonathan. Then he told me he waiting for his mum to fetch him there so since im alone i ask him to accompany me to wait for the bus den he called his mum n he told me he no need wait for his mum then kebetulan he say he taking 143 also.so i got company lor..haha..then we talked about school stuffs n he told he his eye very pain.then board the bus n den got ahbeng2 n one ahlien sat at the back of the bus with the two of us.then keep satring at me sia.i was likw wth seh stare2 den wen i look at them they look away..stupid.then talk so loud wan to attract attention summore.i pissed of i switched on my mp3 loudly..lol..then me n jonathan were like sitting opposite of each other then his face like so funny..then his right eye keep twitching n twitching then i laugh at him then he say very pain..LOL...then after the ahbeng2 alight me n jonathan started talking again..then i alight the bus den walk home.. go home dad lecture me sia for reachign at at 9++..i was like wth la.. =[ so sad seh.. niwaes i miss red so much n im so kecewa jac broke my most precious red hairband again n this time its the haiorband i everyday use n will remind me of him n i got no toher hairband to use. =[ urgh i can cry liao..nvms..will go to west mall n get a new one..
urhhh i miss red so much..gosh..n i love the song down..its so nice..me n sue keep singing during class n yesterday during m.t class we sang all the krayon song n one song a teen song i forgot wats the name..LOL..im so dead tired now n yesterday wen i reach home after shower everything i lie down on my bed n read the novel n i fall asleep..i cant believe it ah.then i woke up at 4.50 a.m realise that i fall asleep without switching off the lights and the novel is still in my hands. -.- lol.. hey im tired now..till here thens.. =]
SELAMAT BERPUASA SEMUA..SEMOGA KITA DAPAT MENAMBAHKAN PAHALA DALAM BULAN RAMADHAN DENGAN MEMBUAT SEMUA AMALAN BAIK DAN JAUHILAH AMALAN DAN PERKARA YANG BURUK. =DD

signing off:
SA =D

2009-08-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

Today was ok..haha..woke up late ard 6.45 n i still can lie down in bed though i knew that i was alr late..lol..school was okay.Thanks for the cupcake fana..its so yummy really. :DD thanks.. then all lessons was bored..After school went home with biri and u noe wad? she gave me her ms chatterbox..i put it on sue's phone.. it sooo sweet..thanks biri.. :DD hee..then went hm shower everything n went to meet mum at j.e den went to IMM n ate at bagus n met adik..Then guess wad? abang came to meet us with nisa. i salam him n dunno why he suddenly very quiet. Then he keeps staring at me.abg, i noe u regret. but u must move on okay.dun worry about me..im okay for the time being.i just want ur future to be bright n as a sister, i want u to have a fine future for urself. I've never hold any grudge against u abg even when u broke my heart n u beat me up cuz i believe that u didnt mean it. i noe u well..no one in this world is bad. you just have to change for the better n i always pray that u will.im gonna miss u abg......
then i bought a hp sock for sue's phone ad im lending her phone cuz my damn fone is spoiled n she lend her fone to me..sweet aint her. :DDD bought her fone a sock cuz i dunwant her fone to be dirty.i keep getting scared if the screen gets too oily n stuffs..heee...i put the ms chatterbox that biri gave on sue's phone n the hp sock id blue n white. =]] i had no comments about mum.i noe she stressed too.everyone is so stressed i noe..but life has to move on..the case has not been solve yet n probably mum won't be meeting me for a few weeks. =[ n i miss him so much ah. haiyoh..keep dreaming of him these few days..and do i look that stress? even mdm karima saw me along the corridor n say, "sakinah, u okay or not? u look so stress.." then i was like errr nothing cher i okay. i dunno..have i been daydreaming too much in class? no please sa focus please..ok..then tmr got photoshoot for band n i must rmb to bring concert attire n tie..hope i won't forget..i think dats all for today..

signing off:
SA =]
[dun worry, you'll be my one and only. :DD 'i wanted u to be there when i fall' found a new song from sue's mp3: i wanted you-ina..yos people smile so the tears won't fall and laugh like you don't hurt at all.. =] ]

2009-08-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

yos todayy was such a sleepy day..Keep falling asleep in class though im sitting up straight.n i magine u listening to teacher den ur keep falling asleep n ur head jatoh2..then atieqah saw n she was like sakinah,u sleepy eh? den i was like..lol paiseh ah she saw me like that..haha..com test was ok la..Then after school went to j.p with liwei,jac n hazel..we planned to watch where got ghost..then reach there only realise the movie is gonna start soon so the four of us were like running to the movie place..LOL..then atiqah.a n atieqah nabila came n we sneak in outside food..the show was funnny n quite scary..there's some part where suddenly the ghost face appear n i shouted cuz i was so shocked as i was paying full attention to the movie..And jac keep laughing n doing funny things beside me..hahah..fun day.really.. den go hm with jac n bought sardine old chang kee..heee.. =] friday we got photoshoot so must wear full attire..i scared i forgot to bring later i dieee.. my stm haiyohhhh i tell u ahh.. -.-" LOL...ohh and tmr meeting mum ar j.e ard 6.30 after she finish work.. =D miss her u noee...

signing off:
SA =]

[ pss. ever had that wonderful feeling inside you everytime you talked or look at someone u love?
Have your heart beat faster than ever when you know he's there and when he's talking to you though you werent talking face to face?
Have you ever wonder why these feelings just suddenly popped out when u least expect it?
Have you ever felt that the one you love is realy the right one for you?
Cause i'm feeling everything now about you.. Whenever i woke up from my dreams about you, i felt so wonderful and real that i hope it happens one day... ]

2009-08-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

k today was dammmmnnnnnn boringgg...lol..smsed mum during school n she onli call ard 8 i tink..i got somethings to clear to her n talked to her so meeting her at thurs after her work..yeah..i noe there's always a solution to a problem.it's just a matter of fact whether u really put an effort to dig ur brains n find the solution. i just hope she'll understand all this n think the best for abg..i noe its hard.k i dunno..k my mind suddenly went blank..haiyohh...i hope this is the best thing i can do for u bro..just now mum called den i told her wanna speak to bro den speak to bro.i noe he's having a hard time too..i believe that no one in this world is bad.really.
and when u love someone, you dun give up. =] oh and i GOTTA STOPPP DAYDREAMINGG N HAVING STMS MANNNNNN...HAIYAHHHHH...SAKINAHHH FOCUSS LEHHH..LOL.

SIGNING OFF:
sa =]
N I HAVENT STUDIED FOR M.T COM TEST TMR.. -_________________-

2009-08-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

Todays i fast.so it's like i paid back 2 days liao. =] the whole day in sch was weak except during maths lesson where sue become crazy n dance n make me laugh my ass off. that was the first time i laugh so much after a long time.thanks sue. =] i love her. [frienship baybeh] k sch finish at 2.30 sat in the canteen with sue they all while waiting for amalina.i dun mind looking at them eat.i tell u the smell makes me wooowww..but i tahan nafsu mah. ;] then went hm with sue n amalina.reach hm n shower everything den i slept woke up ard 7? then dad told me he bought my fav dish, mee kuah n durians..yumyumyum sehh.. =D thnx dad..then make tea n get ready for buka den called jac awhile n talk to her..talked to sue about somethings just now .
i guess i have to..it's now or never.i have to help my mum.i need to call her n ask her to meet me one of these days..we really have to talk.it's for his own good.i dunwan his future to be ruin.and mum please please please for once fan ur ego off. i noe u love ur own son but thats not the way.he's never gonna learn the lessons. u gotta understand mum.this is for his own good.pleaseplease..oh gosh.i gotta STOP daydraming n staring into space man.my stm is like -_____-..haiyoh..

oh gosh..u dunnow how much i miss u man..u dunno how worried i am wen i heard that ur not okay.i just cant show it..i just hope u understand.

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SET THEM FREE
IF IT DOESNT COME BACK, IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE,
IF IT DOES, LOVE IT FOREVER... =]

signing off:
SA =]

2009-08-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

oh gosh.sooooooo many things had been happening lately..i feel so ahhhhrrrggghhh..
i tell u my head is gonna burst soon because of all this problems..i dunno wad to do. i feel so hopeless....why?? why all these?? one problem after another.i feel soooo urgh i dunno man.if i could disappear from here, run away from all these stupid problems i had alr m.i.a but i pitied my dad.i noe he's having a tough situation too.i dun wanna make the situation worst.i love my dad.my feelings.. mad,disappointed, sad, all that emotions are mixed up.my heart is like shattered into pieces.i can't see all these things happening to my family.i cant i just can't. ohh whyy..i noe its all affecting my studies.i tried not to show my sadness infront of ppl..i tried to keep it inside my heart inside of me for as long as i can, not trying to break down again,ohh ya Allah..im like a person with no direction.. my mind, me heart, its filled with these things.i need to calm my mind.i noe crying n running away from these problems won't help a bit..i need to be strong i noe.. i can't focus on anythings..these problems keep spinning in my head. that really dreadful nite it's all like a nightmare but its not, it's reality. it really broke me down into billion of pieces.. i can't stop recalling what happen. i feel so disappointed.kecewa tersangat. wen i look at my dad's face, pity.i noe my mum's having a hard time too..im really damn disappointed with my brother.. i just dun wan his future to be ruin. darah daging aku sendiri. oh goshh.. ohh my heart's swelling. it really hurt me so much. so much. i wanna sit sumwhere, calm my mind n just clear everything..
[ get well soon... ]

2009-08-03T05:55:00.000-07:00

k so yesterday after madrasah went to meet mum.before going out i was waiting for isa to get ready cuz mum force me to go out with him.u noe i was like teragak-agak cuz we fought n didnt talked or look at each other faces for nearly one month so i was shocked wen suddenly yesterday he said,"dik jom,mak da sampai?"
i was like =OOOOO....lol..the name that i didnt expect to come out from his mouth after the day that incident happen.den sat in bus on two opposite sides n i was listening to music n was daydreaming.then met mum n blablha den from jp went to cck to have kenduri arwah seblah my ayah.since i cant pray so my makcik ask me to help the bibik at the kitchen since she was new.i was okay..then panaskan lauk-pauk, made 3 types of drink n one tead n at the end while they baca yassin all i was like at the kitchen perspiring from head to toe like a person just finish showering.LOL.
then at 10++ went home.
Today school was boringg lorr...really..haish..passed geog n maths retest was -.- la i didnt finish it again sia..wth lor..asyek tak sempat je.then went home with bella.
i miss him so much ar seriously..pissed off seh keep daydreaming..haiyoh..stop it k sa..haha..im bore im bored.....................................

signing off:
SA
[i wanna see ur face lahhh...just u...ahhhhhh..lols..gilerr... -__- ]

2009-08-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

walaoeh. cannot upload the photos we took today seh. haiyoh.
k nvms. so today set alarm clock at 8 a.m
alarm rang but i went to sleep again. lol. woke up wen jac smsed.
i look its alr 9++ n we promise to meet at 10.i called jac n she said she gonna be late too..so yeah..
shower everything then waited for jac at j.e interchange till nearly 11 then she came cuz of some reasons.
then quickly met bella at pioneer n proceed to jurong west gym n changed, had fun laughing while lifting up the dumbell or wad? LOL..then perspire like hell did some stretching n cool down n change n went of ard 1+.i was late for tuition lor but accompanied jac to j.p then called dad ask to send the book for tuition at j.e. he lectured me n scold me lor.then took mrt to j.e n met dad.hahah n had tuition n poceed home.such a fun n tiring day.i keep yawning n felt sleeping during tuition. haha..tmr got madrasah den after zohor going to meet mum go j.p then go home need to go kenduri at cck.tmr's gonna be a busy day yet i havent do hmwks n iron my clothes..gosh..gonna do everything by tonight. =/ lols.

signing off:
sa
[ harusnya takkan ku biarkan kau pergi.hanya kau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku. lols..the song hanya kau yang mampu by aizat. :D miss him so much ah..]

2009-07-31T06:51:00.000-07:00

Today school was umm ok..
Didnt sleep in class today.
After recess though the bell had alr ring, me liwei n bella didnt went to class.
mrs lim was there of course.We purposely went walking outside the class and standing at the corridor to get fresh air. Then back into class was hyper.
hid sue'es hp n pretend didnt took it. she was like so gabra n i kept blaming syikin..LOL..sue searched the whle class n even my bag though i put it in my bag but it was at the side pocket n she didnt check. then annie lim asked, "where's my great students?" and i quickly raise my hand n i wa sstanding at that moment.saje nak uat lawak..and she say yes sakinah ur a wonderful student..
i was like nyahahaha..lol..then after awhile joking with fana n laughing like hell gave back the fone to sue n she was like -.- n i saw the relieveness in her face..lols..
then after school band was canceled.so accompany fana till 2 cuz she had to take the juniors so sat in the canteen with fana,liwei,atiqah.a n atieqah.n..
then me n liwei went to j.p.had lunch at banquet n then go jln2 n i took 79 home..i keep daydreaming nowadaes man..haiyohh..
everywhere i go also daydream.siao.even just now fana was talking to liwei they all then suddenly i heard fana said, "right sa?" then i was like huh what what? LOL..sotong ball tolll..haha..siak..sorry fana..
and im so bingit yesterday night ah.
listening to songs suddenly dad n stepmum quarelled n fight n all vulgarities came out..im like so wtf siol.if want to quarrel go room quarrel ah no need quarre infront of us.
then baby cry the whole situation was like damn toooooot lahh..
i so pissed off i blast the songs on earpiece then stil hear them shouting and wenever they quarrel they'll involve us saying stupid n bad things about us..
i feel so like wth lahh..say we're hopeless lah.
that isa smoke dunno how to prevent lah..wtv shit siol..
i like cannot tahan ah.put on song full blast till my ear gonna burst siol.
LOL..then my hand blood came out because of stupid reasons.
den having damn crams summore. walao.
then tmr going gym then go hm n go tuition.then sun meeting mum go j.p.
mum nak jumpe pon bising2.da 2/3 minggu seh tak jumpa. -.- ah..
cant wait to go with her ah buit she ask isa come along.i dunwan seh.
we never talk alr lor.he also dunwan apologise for wat he did so forget it siol. idk lah..haish..this is what we call life.problems never fails to appear.
it's just the way u solve it. n i miss him sososososososososos much ahh..gosh.cant stop daydreaming mann...

signing off:
SA
[if u just knew how much i miss u...goshh...]

2009-07-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

yesterday:
woke up at 4 a.m wen biri called as i asked her to.
Then studied geog until 6++ n then made breakfast and shower everything get ready to go school.
Then all the way in class studied geog though the teacher infront was teaching other subjects but managed to find time to sleep as im so sleepy. Then after geog com test i felt so relieved.
Then after school went to IMM ate lunch at wen to library with jac and bella to study till 6++ n went home.

Today:
School went as normal.damn boring actually. fall asleep in class many times n once i dreamt of him. The moment i put my head on the table i will surely fall asleep. gosh. there's band tmr. i missed him soo so so much ah.really. haishh.
Keep dreaming of him.. And i passed the physics test. For the very first time seh. hahah.. ouh yeah plan on sat, go gym in the morning then go tuition. sun after madrasa meeting mum.dunno where to go maybe going orchard or... dunno la.. ouh and there's another blueblack on my right arm as i fought with my younger bro. i mean real fight punching and slapping. i was so pissed of ah. just now played with my baby bro, dedek .he's so cute. He's learning to talk now. :DD i havent do any hmwks now..gosh..gonna start now..

signing off:
SA :]]
[ Hanya kau yang mampu.. wish i could tatap his face... ouh yeah, found this nice saying in the novel i read, 'kau tetap di hati' , "I won't regret if i failed, but i will regret if i never try". so ppl stay strong even though u feel like ur at ur breaking point. bend but don't break. Don't get the situation get the better of you. stay strong. and when u love someone, u don't give up =D ]

2009-07-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

heyys..
just came back from jogging with younger bro at the park.LOLs..
fun lor.dad didnt noe i go out at nite cuz if he does he's gonna kill me..
He dun wan me go out at nite again like last time..sad much..urhh..feel so fresh now.
thinking n thinking n u noe wad? just now after madrasah i just realised that i wear one sliper diff from the other one. -.- n i juts realised wen my adek say lor..wat a total shame man..im so shocked ah i ddint noe that i've been khayaling all this while..OMG..i think too much man..gosh.. --________--
wth..urrggh..finish ironing clothes and all..mum canceled meeting today..she say meet next week so wtv ah..looking at isa's face made me mad..really..wtf siol..
wtf ahh..sial..im gonna study for physics.wanna shower and everything now..
bord bored bored... -.- -.- -.-

signing off:
SA
[ i need to clear my mind.flushed it down the toilet and brainwash yeah? lol..jk ]

2009-07-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

heyys..just got back from cck and finished my tution at lot1.thought bout jln2 at lot 1 for awhile alone but dad called and i felt like going home straight.haha.. then tmr got madrasah after that maybe meeting mum..i had to cancel going out with nelly because of that.
mum asked me out tmr.felt like going orchard.dunnno la.
she ask that isa to come along but i say i dunwan.if she wan meet im go meet im so not gonna be there. please luh.like seriously..
we're like strangers already though living in one roof..watever ah.i won't talk if he never apologise.who cares?
ahh thinking about it makes my blood boil man.watever.this tues mum's going to hospital to urrmmm..i dunno how to say to operate or sumthing.
wish i could be there with her but i can't.if i can turn back time i wish that mum and dad will be together forever.but wat to do rite? da takdir ALLAH..i won't want to turn back time cuz if i do.i'll never learn from mistakes and
i'll never go throught all these things that made me what i am now..
aku redha.aku bersyukur dgn apa yang ada skrg.
i believe that watever things happens for a reason.
ouh i just wish to be with him all my life..
i dunnoe how to say..i just love him wayy to much..urrghh..
and yesterday while otw to cck, dad played for me agama songs n my heart feels so at peace.i felt that i did alot of sins.goshh..

signing off:
SA
[ Everything happens for a reason~mungking ada hikmah di sebalik apa yang terjadi.]

2009-07-16T04:14:00.000-07:00

I dream about him again yesterday. Here it goes:

I was siting in this restaurant with who i dunno.
The day was so peaceful and bright.
I was holding one cup of water.
Infront of me, there he was,
Sitting with his mum
I didnt know i could meet him there.
He was busy talking and eating as his mum was beside him.
I kept staring at him for so long wanting him to know how much i love him
Suddenly, he turned and our eyes met.
We were staring into each other eyes for so long. I wish i could stop the time.
And lastly, he gave me that wonderful smile i've wanted to see all this while,
The smile that hides everything.
I was so peaceful at that time....

and i woke up realising i was late for sch as it was alr 7 a.m.. -.-
that dream felt so real and i woke up stunned and keep smiling to myself though i was alr late. LOL.
today was such a boringg day.seriously. last lesson had mr nathan class..we had to choose any card that got s vehicle inside and i chose one which was a fir engine truck and it was red in color. :D then teacher ask y i choose that card and i said because it's red..LOL..and talked2..he adviced alot.i reflect back wat he said was true actually.When we're pissed off or upset, we usually had negative thoughts and we started saying negative words.This will make us more upset. So must have a positive mind. =] i'll try.
uhhh my mind is so occupied with so much things now.i feel so uh i dunno..if only i could pend time with him.takecare of him and just be with him always.wouldnt it be so wonderful?
oh and tmr i tink im going sumwhere aftr school..dunno where to go as long as i can relax my mind.and mon me fana n liwei maybe going to watch harry potter..im figuring out who to bring..

signing off:
SA

2009-07-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

yoss.today was uhm, kinda weird day? lol.
school was fine.abit tired i guess.stressed on history.
just abit worried because of somthing but he's fine. :D
wats weird today? [after school] :
Firstly, something happened that made sue pissed off and left me in shocked
Secondly,i wanted to buy my favs sardine curry puffs but that old, weird lady gave me potato curry puffs instead. i was so pissed.
Then me and sue talked and talked an i curse that weird old lady and we scold and scold and atlast we laughed.
Lastly, after sue went up to her houe i continued my journey home. Suddenly walked upon this pakcik who was carrying golf bag and suddenly he stopped. and i dunno why i stopped too. Then he stared at me i was like ?? Then suddenly he say,"balik skola? skrg sec brape? skola css eh?" i was like uhm,ya,sec 3...then he step as if he know me like that. then he smiled and say okay bye.and i was like uhm, lost? then after he walked away i was like, who the hell is that guy??
Do i know him? DEFINITELY NOT. Does he know me? i dun have an idea. Or maybe i forgot.wait..k i dunno..weird la sehh..
im so bored right na na na..haiyohh..tmr liwei wanted to play basketball then meet ms lin..need to ask aravin..k im bored..like everyday i am.
And wats good is that this week, i didnt sleep in class at all..woooh..lol..
and i just realised there's one blueblack on my left hand but not that obvious..fuhh.
and today many ppl keep hiting my swollen shoulder and when i screamed, they say, "ohh sorry2..u ok not?" -__- pain u noe.i stepping ok onleh..hahah..k im bored.

signing off:
SA :D
[smile so the tears won't fall.laugh like you don't hurt at all. :D blue and red makes?? k shh..i love 'red'..lalala..]
oh and i found out the song keep holding on.so nice.hahah.
your not alone
together we stand
i'll be by ur side u know i'll take ur hand
.........
No i wont give in
keep holding on cuz u know we'll make it through
just stay strong cuz u know im here for you
......
so far away
i wish u were here
before its too late,this could all this disappear.
....
with u by my side i will fight in defend......
dedicated to ehem ehem "red"... <3

2009-07-14T03:32:00.000-07:00

Today was okok..Have much fun playing the handball games during p.e with the whole class..HAHA..My shoulder,it hurts but who cares.? lol. Then after p.e was hyper dunno why. Then when comes chem i was bored.like seriously i just feel like sleeping but force myself not to.and my hair clip broke in two pieces again..hissy..then meijia lend me her rubber band..thanks much meijia. :D i won't use clip to tie my hair again la so leceh. and i hate tying my hair with rubber band cuz later got one extra tail [hair strand longer than the others] come out at the bottom of my hair.irritating much eh? lol..so decided just tie up bun lah like meijia and atiqah.a. lol..so after maths went for band.they brief about the posts everything then went home with bella,fana and nadiah.had fun laughing with fana n nadiah jokes. LOL.they follow me go the chop ah cai the shope near my house to buy bubble tea and then lead them to their bus stop n proceed home. im bored. lols..nobody's at home only that damn bro lah.wtv ah.my dad called my hp and say dun go out of my room cause if we fight again nobody can help.then i laughed and say ok lor so now im stuck in my room.haha..saddened.i now he's worried ah n just now wen i just came back i realised that the back of my head near the skull is swollen too..siak. wtv ah.told dad an dhe ask to massage.pain lah.here there everywhere..wtv ah. annoying seh.i wanna study for history and geog n wanna go sleep cuz i now very uhhhoooh very sleepy leh..
signing off:
SA

2009-07-13T05:54:00.000-07:00

okayys..i feel much better today after my true frens cheer me up.dad dont want me to go sch today actually but i want.lol..im still alright wad.k yesterday was such a horrible day.calld jac and thanks jac for listenin to my horrible voice and cheering me up.and liwei thanks for being there always yeah? thanks everyone.i love u lots. thnx liwei for carrying my bag, file listening to me and cheering me up.u ppl are such true frens..i love u all so much.rmb that always kay?
yesterday went to library after religious class.meet liwei n jac at popular.i was late again.sorry.then go lib kah leong and his fren was there so we studied and took photos.paiseh i forgot kah leong fren's name..lols..then went to IMM n proceed to sue house.joke about n laughed like hell lor.then went home sumthing happen.i won't say it here.i cried till theres no more tears.my shoulder and back is swelling like hell.the blueblack is so big ah.n its so painful..my whole left arms are so pain and weak.liwei help me message my shoulder.thanks liwei so much. :] it hurt so much though.im scared ppl just came frm behind and tap my shoulder n i will be like ahhhhh..LOL..i can't wear my bagpack properly ah..so just now after school went to IMM to buy elisha's present.then jac and liwei took turns to carry my bag for me..sweet aint they..thanks so much ok? n liwei help me to carry my file too..thanks so much. :D i love my dad.he told me something.he told me to be strong always.i will dad.i'll make sure i will.. :D and i just love him so much ah.ahhhh...lol. k stop it sa.yesterday cried myself to sleep n my eyes are puffy..luckily its not obvious.i woke up late in the mrng then just finish showering, my stepmum asked me to takecare of my baby bro cuz he still sleeping and my mum had to send the second bro to kindergarten so i opened my door big2 n get ready.lOL.while doing my ahir suddenly baby bro cried and i ran to his room n carry him.he so manje keep asking for mum i pujok him and carry him ard the house. then he hug me so tight and put his head on my left shoulder n i nearly scream cuz its my swelling part n its so painful.LOL. then mum rushed home n i quickly get ready and rushed to school with sue n meet liwei n she waited for me.sorry liwei. then we spend our pledge taking sneaking in the toilet.aftr that proceed to class. :D
signing off:
SA
[ always be strong no matter what happen to u.believe that everything happens for a reason. i love him ahh..lol shut up sa. <3 ]

2009-07-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

i've got no mood to psts bout today.upload the photos tmr maybe.just came bcak from sue house.go home something happen that broke me.im crying rite now.i dunno wat to do.can u imagine ur own flesh and blood, ur own bro, beat u up and left u so much pain ...watever fuck..i hate him ok.get lost frm me..i dn wanna hear any things that are relevant to u..i hate u seriously..more then anithing else..tahnks so much ah.. im shivering now from the pain and shock..i dunwanna say wat happen ah..

2009-07-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

just finished conferencing with jac.aravin,atiqah.a and elisha..then i had to put down the phone because my irritating bro keep beating and smacking me and pulling my hair.. -.- pain u noe.. ISSSH. lol.. then agree to call back at 10 later.. yeah.. things been happening lately.. felt relieve. i dunno how to xplain la. seriosuly.k today was such a boring day. im rotting at home like nobody's business ah. lied down in bed thinking about things to do.. felt so bored as i'mm otp with didi and smsing my 'sista', hisyam..lol. jk. just otp with liwei and told her everything. and now i noe what to do.. thanks liwei. :D
then after lying down in bed i go gosok baju and all then adek came to play com. then im so bored i decided to make him pissed off.. LOL. i asked him to switch on the song 'tell me seh' then i switched on to the max then i danced and clapped and jumped around my room and shout like nobody's business..LOL.. told u im bored. im gonna find a way to entertain myself. then adek stared at me like i just gopt out of mental hospital. LOL. Then shout2 and sing along to the song till adek fed up and at last he laughed because it was so funny. he said "aku amek video ni masok youtube gerenti kekek sak org tengok." LOL..then i ignored and continued.. LOL.. then at last he piised off then he switched off the song.. LOl.. that song just will make u dance. go and hear it. and rmb to sing and dance and hop around like madperson yeah? hahah.. then dad went home and he yelled cause i was makng so much noise. then i said, " tulah ayah.u noe what? im supposed to be outside nopw u noe.no im so bored thats why i did this.." then he laugh and say , "good lor..so now can practice sit at home ok?" then i was like pffft.
k tmr in the morning got religious class then im going straight to sue's house with tudong and all to do maths..then i feel like going to j.e library. LOL.
i went to liwei's blog and read..it was so touching ah..interesting man..hahahs. kay wait im suppose to call them now but i dun wan..i need to wait untill my younger bro all go to sleep then i can talk in peace if not my house will be like what elisha and aravin say, "nocturnal" or "uncivillised ppl" LOL.. k im off now..
dancing to the song im yours.. and im so MISSING HIMM...GAHHHH. hahahaah...
signing off:
SA :D
smile always yeah.even when ur down. :DD

2009-07-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

Today was kinda urggh dunno ah.no comment..had free lesson during amaths and we have to go to mr narden[?] counselling room..he talks about ambition and courier. i wanna be a teacher when i grow up.this is my ambition since i was in primary school. lols.. k after school went to meet ms lin with liwei but had to postpone it to tmr cuz i had maths project and i gotta rush cuz jiajing had to go for her tuition. so tmr meeting ms lin at staff rm arnd 3 with liwei. then the maths project. it turns out to be damn sucky ah.we ended up fighting. im like wth lah. common la.this is teamwork. please have patience can anot. and please dun take ur own sweer time to do things. we're rushing from time. and stop being so sensitive. this project is going nowhere if u dun cooperate and understand each other. im so pissed ah just now. then stayed back wif jac,pearlyn,elisha,aravin,idris and nasrul to do the hist project. pearlyn went off first. so decided to record video at dnt room but ended up we gonna do tmr at the library. so went home with aravin.and i fell asleep. i havent do any homeworks yet ah. -.- pfft.
now im so pissed off with my dad and family ah.they just dun understand u know. pls lah make my life easier.im so sucked up now ah. give me some peace can anot? ask me to study in the house but how to study if the condition like that?? here and there shoutings,fighting, arguing, crying.this is fucking stupid.im serious.i really cant take it animore.at least give me freedom. i noe my ways ok.i noe how to control myself. just understand me can anotttt..???
stupid.this is so pathetic ah.use handphone call complain bill overload.use housephone also cannot.u expect me to talk to wall izzit? just understand me lahh please.im stressed alr ok.

2009-07-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

Hellos.. :D today was fun.had p.e and we played handball as a class where the boys vs girls..i dun have an idea who won.lols..but really had fun during the game.then lessons as usual.there's no band today so proceed home after school..there are a few things i wanna do/ need to:

1. STOP sleeping in class
2. Start mugging nowww.
3. Stay back in school to meet teachers and ask them to teach me
4. Concentrate in class.

ohh and i dunwanna sit right at the back of the class..i really cant see my eyesight are getting worst..shit.meijia also decided to sit infront so we're planning to ask sue and daryl whethe we can change to their place anot..and we're telling mr sim too..and the good thing today is i didnt sleep during lessons at all..yayy.. LOLs.

The most bestest thing is that MY DAYS ARE BRIGHTER AGAINN..[shhh can't tell why. hehs.] ;DDD i wanna do my malay compo and maths and start revising i think..oh no im so malas..haish..jiwa sakinah jiwa [like wad sue always say..haha.. ] peace ppl.

signing off:
SA :D

2009-07-06T05:21:00.000-07:00

Hello people..Had great fun today doing history project with my dear group. ;DD
first met jac,priscilla,jiajing,nasrul and evan in the library.then idirs and elisha came..then pearlyn came so went to record video of our project..we had fun ah laughing around and making noises as if the library is our house..haha..laugh till my stomach hurts siol..stayed in lib from 11 to 5++..halfway before elisha came me jac n jiajing went to ntuc and bought snacks then we smuggle into the lib inside jac's bag..lols..then went home and now preparing for tmr..ahh..lols..i shouldnt say sumthing..im so happy for tmr..gahh..LOLs..till here.

signing off:
SA :DD

2009-07-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

Heyys.. so yeah went out with mum yesterday to IMM wif adik. isa didnt follow cuz he went to celebrate his 1 year anniversary with nisa.. sweet sehy.. haha..
so went and eat first.. then went shopping.. bought a perfume name franck olivier from paris the big bottle.. before discount it was 98 bucks.. then it cost 61 bucks.. so quickly bought it.. thought about buying my old perfume the escada but i still have some at home... so yeah.. mum bought for herself and her husband too.. i really have to stop changing perfumes.. nehminds.. lols.. then went to watson and bought stuffs and then jalan2.. after that mum sent us home.. thanks fr the day mum.. :DD
so i just came back from madrasah..we had a talk about youth..exciting..and i got loads of houseworks to do and i have to complete homeworks by today. -.- sian

signing off:
SA

2009-07-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday:
heyys..today was boringg..can ayone tell me the solution to really stop falling asleep in class?? please? so started off got free period so wen to the study corner near staff room..listening to song wen suddenly mrs chia came and ask why we neva bring anything to self study..we were like dotdotdot..then she ask me,liwei,fana,atieqah,bella and hazel to go down ad read newspaper then go tell her summary about an article..yeah and blablahblah..den history lesson was forcing myself to focus and open my eyes then suddenly i forgot since wen i put my head on the table and fell alseep then i hear mrs png called my name and asked whether im ok or not..i woke up shocked..lols..then during geog i really cannot tahan den wen to really deep sleep..suddenly mrs lim shouted my name and i was so shocked n i woke up feeling giddy..lols..den after school got band..we need to clean the band room so helped fana with the blazers..then went home wif bella..

Today:
Later going out to meet mum..yayy.. :D maybe going to IMM or sumthing..im bored.. lols..blog again later.

signing off:
SA :]

2009-07-02T04:41:00.000-07:00

heyys..today sch started off quite boringg...slept during physics again.. -.- i really gotta stop sleeping in class..lols..and i tell u wen i sleep i really sleep till i dream..haha..den after school waited for jac n pearlyn to finish amaths lesson and we proceed to do history project..then me,jac,elisha,aravin and idris decided to play basketball and soccer at the court near dnt room.we first played basketball then we played soccer..then bharatt[?] joined us..it was really fun..i enjoyed it so much ah..playing soccer with them are so fun..till we sweat like hell..haha..i wanna play again..lols..farhana also joined us..it was very fun.thanks for the games people. :D haha..then me and jac rushed home then i walked with ms lin..talked to her bout some stuffs..hahas..that's all for today..im bored..lols..
signing off:
SA :DD

2009-06-27T02:28:00.000-07:00

yos....its been a long time since i blog..yeah..mls uh..haha..ok school is like starting in 1 days time and i haven complete all the hmwks..gaaahhhhh..die liao die liao..i've heard that mon we going to sch like normal wear full u and they give us this website to check our timetable but i cant seem to open it..wtv..and baby bro is coming homeee..miss dedek much..he went to indonesia for like 3 weeks with stepmum and aunt and he coming home today..gonna picit2 his pipi and kiss him..lols..now im like so bored can? just now morning finished all house chores, ironing, lipat baju and all so now i dunno wat to do..i wanna go out [my dad says: tulah da biase hari2 mrayap satu hari dok uma pon tak senang and bla bla bla...] haish..wanna go out with mum luhh..and i need to know how to control my anger man..small matter also i blow up easily..siao..haha..i should have followed my aunt they all go johor just now man rather then wait for her smses..urrhh pissed off siol..everything last min..siak. if not i've enjoyed now there buying buble gums and shopping..stupid..damn it siol.. wtv ah..im bored at home with elder brp.he's bored too and he's entertaining himself by playing psp and shouting to himself like a madperson..bingit aku.. -.-"
signing off:
SA

2009-06-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

urrrmm..kay today morning went to meet liwei at je popular..sorry liwei i was late.
then proceed to library and we studied there till 1+ den we proceed to IMM to have our lunch..had lots of fun with her..laughin..haha..ate at bagus [ not bugas] and liwei went to meet her cousin..quite cute leh..then we go to the rooftop and play with fish..took some pictures and joke ard..fun day really..thanks for the day liwei. xD then proceed home..now im so bored..gonna go to mum's house tmr for one week or so..i wont be online..haish..need to complete all my hmwks and i heared that the government will extend another week of our holidays..really meh? wtv it is i dun wan..i wanna return back to school fast..haish..and i hear also that all ccas and activities in school will be canceled next week but i dunno..haish..i so missed him and im still waiting..i wanna go gym, swimming and shopping..lols..maybe gonna go out to orchard ard next week to jln2..gahhhhhhh..k im bored..
i dreamed of him again..i just miss u so much..if only u knew how much i loved u all this while i've never let u out of my mind.everywhere i go there's always u in my eyes..i just wish i could just see u and have a good look at ur face,through ur eyes...it's just so hard..

2009-06-18T04:29:00.001-07:00

heyys..im so bored at my grandma house..maybe i'm going home tonight..haish..gnna be even more bored at home lorr...haish..wth wth wth...i'm uploading the photos waiting like wth?? next week back to band for the whole week and sat is pop...dotsdotsdotsdots.....
yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah..nanananananaa...haha..told u im bored..and i want to dedicate the song impianku by didicazli and until youre mine by demi lovato to him!! ahhh!! lolss...k i've gone mad..wtv..im dead tired..the scars are healing. ;]
signing off:
SAKINAH

2009-06-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

yos..sa's back! haha..okay stop it..my eyes are closing soon, waiting for my aunt to finish her office work den can go to sleep..haish. :[ nehminds.niwaes i just finish my 'work' that is to iron my aunt's clothes and den she'll pay me..okay wad.not bad rite? at least get $$$$..haha..i need money!! really..urhhh. i need to pay for the section tee, the tickets and i wanna go shopping again! sorry mum i'll have to drag u along wenever i wanna shop..haha..still rmb my mum and abg face wen the waited for me to coose te clothes i wanna buy..lols..now at my nenek house at cck so pls ppl dun call my home ok..anithng sms me..thank u..
yesterday class outing was a total BOMB! haha..really..hade loads of fun and btw, i haven upload all the photos i took during the 5 days course at ngee ann poly..there loads of them and the photos we took yesterday at east coast park..the course was superb fun..had loads of fun and learned alot of good things..miss th e ppl very much. and i rmb the trip to hort park.it was so hot and tiring i tell u i csn crack one egg and cook it on top of my head..suntann sia..haish..then got break before we continued our way to vivo..so i thought decided to gave up but then after thinking i think bettter don't and i continued though half way got damn big blister under my feet..its so painful ah till can see my flesh..haish..then ms lin so kind lend me her shoes..thank u. :D then put on plasters and walk barefoot..thanks for the rest who accompany me walk barefooted eh. :]] den go vivo, cool down and changed into fresh clothes and we went to eat..then jln2 took pics and go to roof play with water..it was super fun..we get wet so much ah..lols..then my towel fly inside the water and i dried it..haha..
outing yesterday was fun. :DD i changed after reached there and plunged into the sea..pulled jac along..wanted to let her overcome her fear of seawater..haha..fun..then get all wet so decided to swim further down with farhana and hazel.so swam and farhana nearly drowned but i saved her. :DD heroin for the day sehh..haha..den suddenly swim diddnt notice there's huge sharp rocks underneath and i drag my foot on it and wen i go home i realised that the cut was super deep..haish..very pain lor..blister haven heal stil got wound..urrh!!
nehminds..i had fun..and i missed him sososososo much ahh..haish..
i'll upload the photos soon aiye..my eyes are gonna shut soon.. grr..byebyes..
signing off:
SAKINAH
[goodnight. ;DD]

2009-06-08T04:47:00.001-07:00

heyys..today was great...quite fun..meet new frens..and get to feel how its like being a poly student..first we all like feel so weird and awkward especially during the lunch time wen the makan place [food court] were full of poly students..only us were wearing secondary school uniform..i still rmb the moment we walk past them they all look at us like wad sehh..i feel so awkward ah..stare at ppl like we aliens..lols..den aftr lunch went to walk around the poly but didnt manage to cover everything bcuz it was so big..the makan place was like super huge ah and there's subway, so many stalls selling diff kinds of food..its much more bigger than the bagus in IMM lor..and i feel like im in a shopping centre rather than a school..lols..lessons was fun and interesting..made frens..bond better..and im so so so happy cuz ms kokila said that we're allowed to wear home clothes from tmr onwards..it's like so YAYYY.. ;DD we dun have to feel like awkward or wtv..then we can act as poly students..lols..and i'm gonna take more photos tmr..wooohooooo..lols..it's fun.really.. =] but of cuz tired and i haven even touch any homeworks yet..maybe by the end of this week i'll start completing like hell..okays..i'm done..and i missed him. =[ arrgghh..rindu hanya akan terubat di mimpi yang indah. ;] and i love ms kokila ah..she rocks..really..decided wad to wear for tmr liao. =]] and i'm gonna meet them at j.e platform going towards clementi and the rest at clementi interchange at 8 sharp.so ppl dun be late aite. ;D

2009-06-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

After thinking and thinking yesterday for the whole night, i deserve it. aku yang bersalah kan? pantat.i cant stop scolding the hell out of me.shitt.Really. ahhhhh. wtv. and farhanah, im sorry.
yesterday after band went to west mall to meet mum and she decided to watch monsters vs aliens.isa tagged along. so reached there straightaway bought tickets.the show was funny.really..haha..den went shopping and i bought loads of accessories that's red and blue.it's to de stress myself..i go round n round the shope till isa and mum fed up and they keep asking me to hurry up..lols..den isa saw his ex.his ex is cute.really..lol..den today felt like going cck but very lazy larr...i haven iron clothes and lipat kain..haish..dad keep nagging and nagging about my fan in my room. i was rushing to go to band yesterday so pulled the fan string damn hard and it come out..lols.den i was like WTF siol? lols..den heck care ah.den i quietly took the fan outside and store in my room..my dad found out and keep shouting at me to put the fan back outside thought outside alr got fan.pfft. -.- den just now dreamed..ok wtv..mimpi mimpi je..haha..ahh im bored at home.really.isa went out to meet nisa and they went to east coast park.best kan? ahh..and im not going for band the whole of next week due to that psychology thingy..ahh..fedup larr..im so gopt no mood to go for that thing..but pay alr wad..haish.and we are gonna have test and if fail kena retake..fucking shit.what's worse is we have to go to that poly ourselves. pegy alek and im so sad..tkgy skola satu minggu beh tk nmpk dier. =[ haish..and next week im staying at my mum's house..im so bored..bored bopred bored..and my hair is very brown.i hate it.wtv..
signing off:
SAKINAH

2009-06-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

Today it all ended like fuck.
Really.cakap la ape korg nak ckp.tu korg nyer psl.
i feel so hopeless. i was sitting there with loads of things in my mind trying to concentrate like shit and suddenly i felt so hopeless.all my confidence are gone in one sentence.
It's all wiped out away totally. im pissed off like shit.
i tried to hide my anger and throw it away cuz im scared i might hurt others. suddenly i feel like bursting into tears but what would the others say? im weak? yeah i am. it's totally like fuck.
embarassed? maybe i am but i deserve it for not practicing hard enuf right? i'm trying to hide all those fucking anger with those fake laughs and smiles.stupid.it's really stupid.i just can't seem to let out my anger.
all the while i was thinking, WTF? WTF? WTF? those things that happen seems like it just happened a second ago.i could remember all those words fucking clearly. i'm gonna rmb those words forever man..
i dunno what else to say..i need advice..sucks.

2009-06-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

Band yesterday was great for some reasons..And now i feel so bored.ppl pls entertain me..haish..if only i got someone to talk to..Just now morning had a wonderful and weird dream.yeah.lols..then woke up continue readin the novel i borrowed, 'Rahsia Hatiku' it was nice.really.i could like imagine i was in her shoes..Then after shower found out i came.WTH? at the wrong time man.tmr is band camp sommore.at first dad was like dun allow me to go den i say band camp important rite.den atlast he say if u wan go can but cannot stay overnight. -.- wtv..and the crams are like killing me.no wonder i woke up my whole body ache like wad..haish..then continued doin the houseworks..angkat kain,lipat kain, masak nasi, kemas the whole rumah and everything. after feel satisfied, lied down n watched tv..no more energy liao.my whole body is seriously so weak ah..i hate crams.hope tmr no crams..haish.
i feel so alone.
so lonely.
i've ever asked myself, do i need someone by my side
and my heart says yes.
i dunnoe why i keep dreaming of him.
Have you ever felt like there's something missing in you?
Have you ever dreamed of being with the one you love forever?
Have you ever wished that all your dreams would come true?
Have you ever felt like you want someone to be by ur side when ur in pain?
I feel lost somehow.
When i go to sleep, i've always wish that i will meet him in my dreams.
Praying everyday that ALLAH will watch him and ensure he's safe and happy always.
Everywhere i go, whatever im watching or reading, your face always filled my mind.
My feelings this time is too strong.
I just hope one day my wishes will come true and from there i'll say 'Alhamdulillah, life always have a happy ending.' and end everyday with a smile, a sweet, sincere smile that comes from the heart.
problems always came to us to say hello and to test our patience but watever it is we have to go through it with open hearted.
And from there i learned that everything happens for a reason,
life aint always fair...

2009-06-01T02:36:00.000-07:00

These are the photos taken on sunday wif jac n pearlyn at IMM. =D we had fun. =]

photos taken by sue..candid actualli..haha..went to sue's house after maths remedial today..then talked bout our childhood and primary school frens as we look through photos of our pri sch frens..fun =D haha..then exhanged diaries.she's the first person who read my diary. =] then i told her wad happened on saturday night..it's really awful..i hate that afternoon.seriously..cried till there's no more tears can come out from my eyes. =[ till my eyes swollen..gosh..that day break me into pieces. things can change in a blink of an eye.sumtimes i wonder wad is gonna happen to me.i need sumone by my side always.to hear me out, to love me, to do everything just with me and for me..isnt it great..even adilah says that..lols..then went to madrasah exam with swollen n puffy eyes..luckily it's not that obvious.look at the photos in IMM..lols..my eyes are still quite puffy..it time to leave the past behind..mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik apa yang berlaku.im not gonna say it here cuz it's family matters..and theres band tmr..and i've no idea wad to cook for my family.. =/
signing off:
SA